The door to her office was locked as I remember. I'd no idea what she wanted me for but when I tried to open the door it was locked. I knocked and a few minutes later I heard the sound of a key in the lock and then the door was opened. Frost stood there in her usual style of clothing. She looked at me and said:

"Come in Jonothon."

I entered the room and sat in the chair she indicated. Emma sat in the chair opposite and just looked at me for a few minutes.

"Jonothon; I understand you want some help."

"No Miss Frost. I'm fine."

"Never lie to a telepath Jonothon." The way she said "Jonothon" was the same way you would say "thief" or "liar". You say those words with absolute contempt. I squirmed.

"Ever since you arrived here at the academy you have been in a constant state of depression. Everyone has noticed it. And to be honest it has to - and will – stop now. Am I clear?"

All I could say was: "Yes Miss Frost."

She nodded. Then she spoke again.

"Now it well known but Sean is taking the students on a field trip to Colorado tomorrow. I have decided that you will not be going and will stay here while I instruct you in the way to behave and help you overcome your depression. You may leave now Jonothon."

I couldn’t say a thing. I got up and left. I was furious with her and wanted to get back at her. If I’d had known what was going to happen I probably would have felt sorry for both of us.

I watched the car drive off from my window. A few minutes later another car drove up. I walked down to see who it was but I found Emma had already got there. To my surprise I found it was Jean Summers. I couldn’t hear what being said so I went closer.

"...So that’s the long and dry of it Emma. I came down to give a talk on human relations as Scott asked me to. But I might as well wait until the students get back rather than leave. Is that alright?"

"Sure Jean. Jonothon? Could you carry Mrs. Summer’s bags to the guestroom? " Can you say rhetorical Question? "And after that, come around to my cottage for your first lesson.

I nodded a yes and did as I was asked.

The lesson was just a talk about myself. Who I was; why I hate myself; how I could change – nothing I haven’t heard before. I think Frost knew this and so after a while she let me go. At diner I went down and found Emma alone at the table. A thought suddenly hit me. Had Emma cooked? Even though I don’t eat anymore I was still panicky about that. The last time she cooked Banshee and Jubilee had to use their powers to get she stuff off the pan.

"Jean cooked this before she left to call Scott at Xavier’s. The dishes have been done so you don’t need to worry. Sit down Jonothon." Said Emma. I knew there wasn’t any point in saying no.

"Do you like Chicken Jonothon?" Asked Emma.

"I never ate it that much before my powers manifested Miss Frost."

She shrugs and said:

"What did you like then?"

"Food wasn’t really a big thing for me Miss Frost."

She shrugs and returns to her meal. I thought I saw something in her eyes for a second. Anger? Frustration? Had I hurt her feelings? What would it hurt to tell her the truth?

"Now I come to think of it, I enjoyed eating Red Caffeine Chocolates. They were Coffee and Strawberry flavour cream in chocolate. The last time I had them was with my sister just before I left to go to Gayle’s on the night...."

That’s how much it would hurt.

Emma puts down her fork.

"Did you mean to hurt Gayle when your powers manifested?"

"No!" I reply.

"Gayle was crippled by the blast. Sometimes when we suffer something terrible such as that, we need to blame others. That’s what Gayle did. Don’t blame yourself for what happened to her. You weren’t to blame."

It took me by surprise to hear that. In truth it felt like a weight from my shoulders.

"So tell me more about your sister." Said Emma, "What’s her name?"

"Darla. Darla Starsmore. We were good friends before my powers manifested but after that she didn’t come anywhere near me. She’s about… fifteen now."

"Why don’t you call her?"

"What?"

"Give her a call? Say Hi to her."

"I let my head drop. "She wouldn’t want to see me."

"How do you know unless you try?" Said Frost.

I got up and went to the phone. I dialled the number. For the first time ever I was glad I didn’t have a chest or I would have felt my heart rebound against my chest.

"**CLICK** Hello?"

"Darla?" (If your wondering how I was able to speak the phones had a telepathic-audio converter.)"

"Who is this?"

"It’s Jonothon."

There was a pause. I thought she’d just hang up on me. Then she screamed:

"JONOTHON! IS THAT REALY YOU!? OH GOD IT’S GOOD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!"

I was totally blown away by this.

"You missed me?"

"Like crazy big brother. So, tell me all that’s happened to you at Xavier’s…"

And so for a few hours, Darla and me just hung on the phone. I couldn’t help but feel Emma singing to herself as she walked past. At the end of it I told Darla about Emma.

"She sounds like a smart woman. Tell her I said thanks. Don’t be a stranger Floyd."

"I won’t be pink. See ya sis. I love you. **CLICK**"

Once I put the phone down I went to see Emma.

Emma was in her cottage marking papers. I knocked and went in.

"How did it go?" Emma asked.

"Brilliant Miss Frost. It was good to speak to Pink again."

Emma looked puzzled.

"Pink?"

"A nickname," I explained. "Taken from "Pink Floyd." We’re both were fans of them and the name just evolved. My nickname is "Floyd"."

Emma giggled at that.

"Don’t you have a nickname Miss Frost?"

"No," She said a mite too quickly for my liking. "I don’t."

"Never lie to a telepath Miss Frost." I said.

Emma looked at me for a minute. Then she said:

"Moonbeam."

I suppose she thought I was going to laugh. But I didn’t. For some reason, I could see why she would get that name.

"Where did it come from?"

She was quiet for a second. Then she said:

"My father. He called me it from the moment I was born. The only time he ever called me Emma was when I did something bad. But he was never angry at me for long."

She paused for a second before continuing. Her voice was a lot quieter.

"When I was sent to the sanatorium, he didn’t even speak to me. No one has called me Moonbeam since."

I looked at Emma for a moment. She seemed vulnerable. This was alien to me as I was used to seeing her strong. I didn’t want to see her like this. Or alone.

"Listen Miss Frost. I don’t fancy being alone and, well, I was wondering if we could have a talk about stuff. You know - "this and that". That OK with you?"

She paused for a second before saying: "Sure, it’s OK with me Jonothon."

"Please Miss Frost. Call me Jono."

She was taken aback by that. What she said next took me aback too.

"And you can call me, Emma."

Emma had some soft rock music on when I came in. "Heart" if I remember correctly. She was sitting on her couch dressed in a dressing gown. I had gone to do some homework assignments while Emma got ready. She’d poured a drink for herself and was waiting for me.

"Come on in Jono." Said Emma. "And make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you Mi – Emma." I stuttered. She smiled at me.

"You want to talk," Said Emma, "What about?"

"I don’t know. What do you want to talk about?" I countered.

"You and Paige."

I virtually blanched when I heard that. I hadn’t thought it would be that subject.

"OK." I said.

I sat down in a chair opposite Emma and she watched me. She spoke first:

"Why do you treat her like dirt?"

"I don’t know." I replied. "First of I don’t understand why she finds me attractive. I mean, I can’t kiss her. We can’t go on a proper date because I’d freak out everyone we’d meet. The poor gal would be pointed at and insulted constantly. It wouldn’t be fair."

"You could always hide it."

"And become "The walking Band-Aid." I want something else. I want to taste food; I want to breathe the air around me; I want to speak and sing like everyone else."

Emma looked at me for a second for a moment.

"I always thought only lesser mutants feared and loathed their powers. But when you put it in that context, I have to change my views. I never knew."

She spoke quietly. Like a person who had only just realised the truth.

"The Hellions never had a member like you. All of them were proud to be mutants. I want you to be proud to be one too."

Emma motioned over to me to sit by her. I did as she asked. As I did so I noticed a picture on the table. It featured a man who looked about Forty-five.

"Whose that?" I asked.

Emma looked down and then looked back at me. "My father," she said, "It’s the only picture I have of him." She looked sadly at the photo for a second.

"It doesn’t matter now. Take off your bandages."

I didn’t want to do that.

"Please Emma, I don’t want to."

Then she placed her hand on my face and stroked my cheek.

"Trust me Jono."

I did as she said and she then looked at my energies. She knocked back her drink as she did so. As she gazed at me, for the first time ever I got a really good look at her. She wore a white silk dressing gown, trimmed with lace. Her face was void of any make-up and she looked very beautiful.

"Jono, I want you to try somethin’." She said. I noticed her speech was beginning to slur. "Close your eyes and focus."

I did as I was told.

"Concentrate on how you looked before your powers manifested. Focus your energies on forming into that form. You can do it. Will energy to flesh, bone and blood. And it will happen."

I did as she asked and nothing happened. I looked at Emma and she placed her hand over mine.

"Trust me and try again." She whispered.

I tried again and this time I felt something. I wasn’t sure what it was but I held onto it for grim life. I pulled upon it and strained and almost lost it when suddenly I felt a jolt through my system and I gasped out and fell back onto the couch.

My face had reformed.

"EMMA! WE DID IT!!"

"You did it Jono! You did it all by yourself!"

I still had to focus to keep my energies from erupting but nothing could stop me from grabbing Emma in my arms and twirling her around. We laughed and cheered until I fell upon the couch with Emma beneath me.

And then I kissed her.

The only other girl I’d ever kissed was Gayle. But even then it was never like this. Emma wrapped her arms around me and ran her fingers through my hair. Then I guess we realised what we were doing and we pulled away.

For a moment we just looked awkwardly at each other before I muttered:

"I should go to bed. Goodnight Miss Frost."

I ran out and let my control slip.

I got about an hour’s sleep that night. I woke at ten p.m. from some nightmares. Only they weren’t nightmares. I dreamt of Emma and how close I had come to…

I didn’t want to think about it so I put on the T.V.

**CLICK**

**CLICK**

**CLICK**

**CLICK**

I turned off the T.V. and looked around my room. I had to think of Paige. Think of Sunshine and all my problems would be gone. I closed my eyes and visualised. Blonde hair, Blue eyes, pale skin…

And Emma came into my view.

I resolved to go and see her. I pulled on a pair of pants and some slippers and reformed my chest and face.

I knocked upon the door and Emma opened.

"Can I come inside Emma?"

She nodded.

I stepped into the living room and Emma followed. I turned to face her but I averted my eyes when I noticed she wasn’t wearing her dressing gown. All she had on was a nightgown that was practically indecent.

"I just came to apologise for what happened earlier." I said.

Emma looked crestfallen at that.

"I was in high spirits and things just got…"

I stopped when I realised Emma was looking me over very much like I’d done earlier on. Too late I came to the conclusion I was a lamb in the den of Wolves. Emma was walking over to me. Each step was stamped with purpose.

"Jono would you mind staying over tonight? It’s a bad night for me and I don’t want to be alone."

Oh how I wanted to say yes. But part of me came up with:

"Sure, the couch will be fine."

Emma came up close to me and said:

"I don’t want you on the couch."

She brushed her hand against my face and up into my hair. Part of me cried out "THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!" What about my concentration? What if it slipped?

My last trump card was spent when the pressure was lifted from my brain.

"I’ve put your powers on stand by. You don’t have to worry about them. Now will you stay? Or should I just go back to bed?"

My last act of resistance was to whisper; "I’m sorry about earlier."

Emma wrapped her arms around my shoulders and whispered in my ear:

"Don’t be."

I pulled her close and kissed her passionately and furiously. She pulled herself closer into me as I ran my hands over her back.

The next morning I awoke naked in Frost’s bed. Emma’s block on my powers was still in place. Emma lay asleep in my arms, a contented smile upon her face. I wasn’t so at peace. I had seduced my teacher! If that wasn’t an expulsion offence I don’t know what was.

And the other questions that beckoned; what would the others say about this? I didn’t want to think about how Paige would take this.

But only Jean was here so we could have got away with it. But what if she "heard" us last night?

"Oh hell!" I thought, "Who’s that?"

"Emma! Wake up Moonbeam! We’ve got trouble!"

Emma slowly opened her eyes. Then she heard the knocking.

"Oh, my head. Whoever’s knocking had better have a damn good reason!"

Then she saw me; and it all came back.

"Quickly! Under the bed!"

I dived under the bed as Emma pulled on a dressing gown and answered the door.

"Morning Emma."

"Oh, good morning Jean."

I remember thinking; "Oh Christ, what the fuck does she want?"

"Just came to let you know that I’m off into Boston today to do some shopping and sight-seeing. I’m going to be gone all day. Is that alright?"

"Oh sure. I can find a way to keep Jono and myself entertained for today."

Oh I knew what she meant by that.

"Are you sure? I can always give you a hand with Jonothon…"

"No need. I have my own methods for dealing with Jonothon."

And I knew them all right.

"Well, if you need me just give me a call. Good-bye."

When Emma closed the door I stuck my head out from under the bed.

"I really should go Emma. I’m sorry about last night."

This brought a smile to her face. "Sorry? What for?"

"Well, for seducing you. Isn’t it obvious?"

Emma burst out laughing. She laughed so hard she fell upon the bed. When she finished she looked at me and placed a hand upon my cheek.

"Jono, you didn’t seduce me. If truth were known I seduced you. But I won’t apologise for it and I won’t feel guilty about it. And neither should you. Neither of us have done anything wrong. We should just let it happen."

"But..."

"Tell me you didn’t enjoy last night."

I looked at Emma and I couldn’t say that. I just reached over to her, stroked her hair and let my hands stray down her body to the cord on her dressing gown. A simple tug and it was open. I let my hands stray over her soft flesh as she kissed me.

For the week that the rest of Generation X was in Colorado, Emma and I embarked upon our affair. Nothing was forbidden but we had to keep it our secret. Jean was always around and I’m amazed at how she never found out.

When the students came back, I kept quiet about everything. Even about reforming my face. It was my secret to be shared with Emma.

Secrets. That was the big kicker. This entire affair was forbidden (unsurprisingly) and we couldn’t take the risk of it being discovered. But we had our moments of risk-taking. A psionic conversation in Banshee’s ethics class. A detention with Emma every time Jubilee did something. The surprising thing was in Emma’s maths class.

Jubilee – Hey! Hayseed! Watch this!

Synch – Jubilee, don’t. You can’t throw and catch a yoghurt pot.

Jubilee – Yes I can! Watch thi – WATCH OUT!!!

Emma – Good morning cla – WHAT THE?!! WHO DID THIS!?

Jubilee – It was… urmmmm….

Me – I did it Miss Frost.

(Stunned silence)

Emma – See me after this lesson Jono.

Me – Thank you Miss Frost.

Though how they could have missed the signs was beyond me. I was cheerful for god’s sake! I was smiling and cheerful and I even went out with the other members of the group. But I kept away from Paige though. Don’t get me wrong, I did care for her but I had Emma. And Emma had me. It was apparent to everyone that a change had come over her. She was a lot more easy-going and nicer to everyone. Angelo put forward the theory that her and Banshee were together. How wrong that was. And the thought that she could want someone else angered me no end. I had to face it I was falling in love with her.

The shit hit the fan after the affair had been going for about two months. Jean had come back down to give a follow up lecture to the students. I’d decided to take the plunge and ask Emma out on a date. I went down to her cottage and knocked upon the door. No answer. I knocked again and I noticed the door was ajar. I opened it and went inside.

Not knowing were people are has always worried me. Now a panic I’d never felt before swelled through me as I searched the rooms for Emma. I came to the bathroom and noticed that it was shut. The others had been open. I knocked cautiously upon the door.

"Emma? Are you in there Moonbeam?"

"Jono. I’m *sniff* fine. Just *sniff* give me a moment."

"Emma are you alright? You sound awful gel."

When she didn’t answer I opened the door.

Emma sat upon the floor of the bathroom, huddled into a ball. She wore jeans and a T-shirt and from the look of her she’d been crying for a little while. I her hand she held a small, white box.

"It’s red." She said flatly as I entered.

"What?" I said.

"It’s red. The test. Oh god, Jonothon; what do we do?"

"Wait a second," I said with more than an ounce of worry, "Are you saying what I think you’re saying?"

Emma nodded her head. She couldn’t speak because the tears and the lump in her throat had returned.

"oh god." Was all I could say.

Emma was pregnant.

I was going to be expelled for sure.

But at that point I didn’t care about me. What about Emma? What would happen to her and her, I mean our, child?

I could only do the decent thing.

"Will you marry me?"

This reduced her to floods of tears. I went and comforted her as best I could.

"Jono, there’s no need to worry about me. I can take care of myself. It’s my responsibility."

"Emma, it’s my kid to. I’m not going to run out on you now. We’ll find a way through. Together."

I got Emma a tissue for her eyes and led her back to the living room. We tried to talk about what to do. She was adamant about not having an abortion and in this I supported her. After all, it was her body.

After that, we came to the conclusion that Emma and I should keep quiet about the child’s parentage and Emma should say that it was from a one-night stand. She should stay at the academy and the child would find out about its parentage when it was old enough. It was wonderful to plan out and I’d never felt closer to Emma than at that point.

But nothing stays secret for long. Just ask Gambit. It had to come out sooner or later.

We hadn’t announced what had happened. It had only been a day since Emma had told me. We’d gone out to celebrate and had come back a little worse for wear. That and we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. So when we got in we were all over each other on the couch. By this point I’d learnt to control my power to the point I didn’t need to concentrate. If I had been concentrating than I would have heard Jean come in.

The look on her face as she saw us together is one memory I will remember for the rest of my life. A mixture of shock and surprise that is comic now but spelt death for the secrecy.

And then it all came out. The affair was first but under Jean’s interrogation the child was revealed. Banshee went ballistic. Ev and Angelo went into shock. Jubilee was silent for a whole hour (that was an event in itself) and M was so shocked she asked me to repeat it the news again. The funniest part was that upon hearing the news, the former New mutants rang up the school and said: "We told you Emma couldn’t be trusted but we never thought she’d do this!" Emma still had the ability to shock.

It was Paige I felt sorry for. The poor girl was so upset she ran off when she heard the news. I tried to talk to her but all I got was a punch in the face from Cannonball.

The "trial" – or witch-hunt - was the hardest part. I couldn’t give any evidence to help Emma and she was kicked out of the Academy. I wept when I heard the news.

It was the night she was to leave that I went to see her.

"Emma I’m so sorry."

"Don’t be Jono. We did nothing wrong."

"Did you love me?"

"Jono… please…."

"I have to know. Did you love me or was it just physical?"

She was silent for a moment and then she said:

"Yes. And I still do."

At that point I knew what I wanted. Her. Nothing else mattered.

I packed quickly and left with Emma. We eloped and I never saw the Academy before the birth of my daughter again.

You may say that what I did was wrong. Well I couldn’t care less. All I know is that I did what I had to do. I’ve learnt a lot and so has Emma. And I wouldn’t change a thing.