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"SIMPLE, RIGHT?" written by Quamp
(Front Cover. Generation X is seen busting through a wall, with M leading the way. They are in their uniforms.)
M: We're coming!
Jubilee: Wait for us, Monet!
(Page 1, panel 1. Marvel comics' offices. We see Banshee, the White Queen, Jubilee, Husk, Skin, and Chamber sitting around a table. A man in a suit and tie stands at the head of the table.)
Cap (N): Our setting today is at 387 Park Ave. South, New York, NY. Home of Marvel comics.
Man: Good afternoon. I suppose you're wondering why I've called this meeting. It's so you can get to meet your new creative team. We're "reinventing" Generation X.
Jubilee: AGAIN!? Sheesh, what was so wrong with Faerber? He was doing really good for awhile there...
Husk: There goes all continuity again. I have a feeling I'm going to end up being a technogeek or worse.
M: Sure, he may have had one or two slip ups here and there, but he wasn't as bad as Hama was.
Queen: If you really want to increase sales, hire Lobdell back.
Husk: Or maybe Kurt Busek or Peter David.
(Panel 2.)
Man: (1) Out of the question. Kurt's too busy with the Avengers and Peter's not likely to come back to Marvel after being unjustly fired by Bobbie Chase for no good reason. Anyway, We've hired Warren Ellis -
Jubilee: (interrupts): You're kidding, right? You actually forked over the cash to hire someone halfway decent to write us?
Man: (2) To write the plotlines. Actual dialogue will be written by Brian Wood.
(Panel 3.)
All Gen X members: WHO???
Man: Brian Wood. Trust me on this one.
(Panel 4.)
Husk: That's what you said about Hama.
Queen: Why don't you just save a few bucks and pull some of those fan fictions off the internet? A lot of them are much better than anything the bullpen has been coming up with of late.
Banshee: Emma, a bunch of monkeys could come up with something better than the bullpen.
Man: Please, everyone. Relax.
(Panel 5. The members of Generation X stand.)
Queen: I think we'll be heading to the fan fiction area for awhile...
Jubilee: At least there, things aren't so royally messed up.
M: And they're willing to explore things that Marvel just didn't want to - like the relationship between Ev and myself.
Man: You've got a contract. You have to be here.
(Panel 6.)
Queen: We may have to be here, but the contract doesn't say when. I think we'll go visit a fan fiction writer now.
Man: Just be back in time for your series here.
(Page 2, panel 1. Subreality café. Several of the fanfiction writers and artists have gathered around the place, looking things over. In one corner, Quamp and Icehole are sitting at a table, playing the newly installed NTN trivia. Other fanfic writers and artists are sitting around, relaxing.)
Quamp: Let's see here... we've got us one last question... "This is the capital of Kuwait."
Quamp & Icehole: (simultaneously) Trick question.
(Panel 2. They answer #3, which is Kuwait City.)
Icehole: (1) Another wonderful round for both of us.
Quamp: 14,999 points. I should be in the top 10. (Author's note: This is out of 15,000.)
Icehole: (2) And at 14,790 I shouldn't be far behind.
(Panel 3. The screen shows that Quamp and Icehole have answered correctly. It also reads: "Stay tuned for network rankings.")
Quamp: Another fine game, Icehole.
Icehole: You weren't too shabby yourself, Quamp.
(Panel 4. Enter Generation X, looking the place over.)
White Queen: We need us a story written.
Icehole: What did Marvel do this time?
Jubilee: It's totally bogus! It's like they took all continuity and threw it out the window again!
(Panel 5.)
Tigrr: Not surprised.
Quamp: I've had an idea on the back burner, so I'll write it out.
Alara: Perhaps a trip to Genosha and meeting with Magneto would make a good story.
Richard Cale: I've got a Generation X story in the works too.
White Queen: We'd like each and every one of you to write a Gen X story, as many as we can get.
Husk: So I don't have to be some technogeek.
(Panel 6. Many of the writers pull out pencils, pens, and paper.)
Richard Cale: Got to work on it right now.
Quamp: I'll start working on the plotline when I get home.
Tigrr: So you're sick of what Marvel is doing again, hmm? Can't say I blame you. I don't think anyone likes it.
(Panel 7. The network rankings come up. Quamp finds out his national ranking is...)
Quamp: (shocked) I'm ranked 598th!?*
Icehole: (dismayed) At least you're in the top 1000. I'm ranked 1022nd.
(Panel 8.)
Icehole: Hopefully, the next one will be better.
Quamp: I can't believe this. I got a 14,999 and ranked 598th?
Queen: Those are the breaks sometimes, guys.
(Page 3, panel 1. Generation X headquarters, Snow Valley, Mass. The gang is in the middle of a class, learning economics.)
Cap (N1): Snow Valley, Mass. Home of Generation X.
Cap (N2): A nice, quiet day for the gang.
Cap (N3): That's about to change.
White Queen: Thus we can conclude that if the revenues are less than the fixed costs, then it is time to end the business.
Jubilee: (quietly) Gawd, this is like majorly bor-ing.
M: Jubilee, quiet! You're missing the point again.
(Panel 2.)
Queen: (Ignoring Jubilee) ANYWAY, If the revenues are greater than the fixed costs but less than the sum of the fixed costs and the variable costs, then one should continue to operate under at a temporary loss, determining what to do to reduce variable costs, increase revenues, or both.
(Panel 3.)
M: But what if there's no way to do either, Ms. Frost?
Queen: Good question. Sometimes it is a temporary thing. You may have to operate under a loss for a quarter or two before you can turn a profit.
(Panel 4. The White Queen turns to the board.)
Queen: Now, your assignment tonight will be to work on the three problems in this chapter.
Jubilee: (quietly) Bogus...
(Panel 5.)
Psi balloon (pointing at the White Queen): I heard that, Jubilation.
Queen: You have a 10 minute break, after which Mr. Cassidy will talk about the Ostend Manifesto in the pre-civil war history.
(Page 4, panel 1. The White Queen gathers her things, and goes off.)
Jubilee: I like totally don't get this at all. I think she's talking in a foreign language or something.
Husk: Looks like someone didn't study again.
(Panel 2. Follow the White Queen out to see her meet up with Wolverine. Wolverine is in a flannel shirt, blue jeans, and a cowboy hat.)
Queen: Logan...
Wolverine: I need your help.
(Panel 3. The White Queen sets her things down.)
Queen: What is it?
Wolevrine: Ev. He's not dead like we thought he was.
(Panel 4. The White Queen is shocked.)
Wolverine: That's what I thought too - but I got evidence a druglord in South America's using his power to enhance his troopers. His place is well defended, and we're gonna need a team to rescue him.
Queen: We're in the middle of school, but I think we can allow an interruption
(Page 5, panel 1. Go back to the classroom. Banshee teaches the class.)
Banshee: The main reason most countries didn't like the Ostend Manifesto is because they saw it as the United States being hypocrites - Here was a country dedicated to freedom and civil rights telling them they'd go and conquer a region if it wasn't made independent under US care.
M: But why was it done in the first place?
(Panel 2.)
Banshee: Good question. Part of it started back in 1820 with the Missouri compromise, where the limit of slavery was determined by a line across the Louisiana territory. Another part of it has to deal with diverting attention away from the slavery issue. Still another part of it wanted to just expand. They had already fulfilled their manifest destiny and were eager to look for other areas to conquer.
(Panel 3. Enter the White Queen and Banshee.)
White Queen: We've got an emergency here. Logan will explain.
Jubilee (Perks up): Wolvie?
Wolverine: Good to see you again, Jubilee. Now, we've got a problem here. There's a druglord holding Ev hostage, and we've got to get him back.
M: But... I saw Ev die! He died in my arms!
(Panel 4.)
Wolverine: What died in your arms was a clone made to look like him, but didn't have his powers. Get in your uniforms, kids. We're going to Guyana.
Jubilee: YES!! Field trip!!
(Page 6, panel 1. The White Queen rolls her eyes.)
Queen: And you'll be continuing your studies along the way and back.
Jubilee: (Ego deflated) Bummer...
Wolverine: Trust her, kid. This stuff's good for you. You need to know it.
(Panel 2. Later. Generation X is in their uniforms, sitting around in an airplane piloted by Wolverine and Banshee. The White Queen is with Generation X, teaching them biology.)
Queen: That is why all terrestrial life is classified in four categories or kingdoms: Animal, Plant, Fungi, and Planatia. Beneath that, there are subcategories. The first one is called the Phylum. Beneath that in some categories is a subphylum. Next comes Class, then subclass, then genus, and then felius. For example, the human species is in the kingdom of Anmelia**, Phylum Chordata, Subphylum Vertebrata, Class Mammilla, Genus Homo, and Felius Sapiens.
(Panel 3. They arrive in the temperate forests of Bolivia, and set the plane down on an airstrip.)
Wolverine: The place is about 5 miles from here... and we'd better hide the plane. This strip routinely has planes taking off for drug smuggling.
Banshee: Cloaking device activated.
(Panel 4. They taxi the plane off the strip as a Cessna comes into view.)
Cap (W): More poison for the north.
(Page 7, panel 1. They stop the plane.)
Banshee: We need a plan.
Jubilee: We should just go in there, rescue Ev and leave. Simple, right?
Wolverine: That's easier said than done, kid.
(Panel 2.)
Wolverine: They're supposed to have some kind of superweapon that makes their guards undefeatable. I don't know what it is.
M: Perhaps some reconnaissance would be in order here.
Banshee: Aye. We shouldna go blind into the place.
(Panel 3. Wolverine goes out the door.)
Wolverine: If I don't come back, don't come get me.
Queen: Wait a -
Banshee: (interrupts): Let him go, Emma. He's the best qualified to do recon.
(Panel 4. The White Queen turns to Generation X.)
Queen: Now, we wait.
(Page 8, panel 1. Go back to Wolverine. He is hiding amongst some undergrowth.)
Cap (W): Got to get closer...
(Panel 2. Go over to see two guards standing next to each other. They are in jungle camouflage. They wield two rifles.)
Soldier 1: [Another day, another quiet shift.*]
Soldier 2: [Yea, someone would have to be crazy to try to attack this place, thanks to that machine el Jefe got.]
Cap (N): * Translated from the original Spanish.
(Panel 3. They walk down towards Wolverine.)
Soldier 1: [At least El Jefe pays well to stand out here and do nothing.]
(Panel 4. They get a rainbow around them.)
Soldier 1: [There's a mutant nearby!]
Cap (W1): What?
Cap (W2): How could they have -
Cap (W3): They couldn't have, could they? If so, how?
(Panel 5. The soldiers go toward Wolverine.)
Soldier 1: [Show yourself, mutant! You cannot hide from us!]
(Page 9, panel 1. Wolverine jumps out at the soldiers, claws beared.)
Wolverine: [You want me, here I am!]
Soldier 1: Madre de Dios!
(Panel 2. Wolverine slashes one of the soldiers with one hand, as he kicks the other in the stomach with his other hand.)
SFX: POW!
Soldier 2: [Sound the alarm!!]
(Panel 3. Soldier 2 strikes Wolverine in the face with the butt of his rifle.)
Soldier 2: [Die!!]
(Panel 4. Wolverine sinks his claws into Soldier 1 as Soldier 2 fires, hitting Wolverine in the leg.)
SFX: BLAM!
(Panel 5. Wolverine pounces on Soldier 2, claws ready to sink into the solider. The Soldier fires again, hitting Wolverine in the arm.)
SFX: BLAM!!
Wolverine: GAH!
(Panel 6. Wolverine slashes the throat of the other soldier.)
Soldier: [He is like a demon!]
SFX: SLASH!
(Page 10, panel 1. Wolverine collapses, hurt.)
Psi Balloon (From off panel): Logan, what's up?
Wolverine's thoughts: Emma! These guys are tough with a capital T. I'm hurt.
(Panel 2.)
Psi Balloon: We're coming after you. Where are you?
Wolverine's thoughts: DON'T! You'll only get yourselves killed.
(Panel 3.)
Psi Balloon: We don't abandon our own. Meet us halfway if you must.
(Panel 4. Back with Generation X, The White Queen turns to the others.)
Queen: Wolverine's been hurt. We've got to go get him.
Jubilee: Bummer! Like, where is he?
(Panel 5. They go towards the door.)
Queen: I've got a lock on his location. He said he would meet us halfway.
(Page 11, panel 1. They exit the plane to see the jungle.)
Queen: This way.
(Panel 2. Go back to Wolverine. He staggers along a pathway, bleeding, and hurt.)
Cap (W1): If I can barely escape two simple guards,
Cap (W2): What hope do these kids have?
Cap (W3): Maybe I shouldn't have brought them along.
(Panel 3. Enter Generation X.)
Jubilee: Ohmigawd! Wolvie! What happened!?
Queen: Jubilee, keep your voice down.
Wolverine: Pull... back...
(Panel 4. M picks up Wolverine.)
M: We're not leaving a friend behind, Msr. Logan.
(Panel 5. Generation X plane. Wolverine has healed and is back for more.)
Cap (N): Several minutes later, Wolverine has recovered and is ready for more.
Wolverine: I don't know how - but somehow they've tapped into the kid's synchronistic aura - the guards I faced had my powers and abilities. It was only through experience that I could defeat them.
Jubilee: Major bummer! Like, how do we defend against that?
(Panel 6.)
M: I have an idea. Ev never could synch up to more than one person at a time...
(Page 12, panel 1. Later. The members of Generation X and Wolverine are moving quietly through the brush toward the druglord's place. Husk is in a wooden form to better blend in with the jungle.)
Wolverine: (quietly) Remember, stick to the plan.
Jubilee: Right.
(Panel 2. Suddenly a group of guards jumps them.)
Guard: [Death to the intruders!]
(Panel 3. Generation X splits into pairs, in this manner: Jubilee/Wolverine, Banshee/The White Queen, Husk/M, and Skin/Chamber.)
Banshee: Stick to the plans, lads!
(Panel 4. Husk tears some of her skin off to reveal a steel skin beneath it. She and M attack two of the guards, who synch up with their powers. In the background Wolverine bears his claws.)
Guard: We've got them now!
Husk: That's what you think.
(Panel 5. Suddenly Husk and M switch opponents, and M strikes the guard synched up with Husk as Husk strikes the guard synched up with M. Both guards are knocked down. These next few panels occur at the same time.)
SFX: WHAM!
Guard: AH!!
(Panel 6. Banshee sonically screams at the guard synched up with the White Queen as the White Queen psi-blasts the guard synched up with Banshee. Both go down, hurt.)
Queen: There's something to be said for varying powers.
SFX: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Guard: AAIIIEEE!!
(Page 13, panel 1. Skin wraps up the legs of the guard synched up to Chamber as Chamber lets loose with a blast at the guard who was synched up to Skin.)
SFX: Whoomph!
Skin: These hombres are going down!
(Panel 2. Skin pulls the legs out from under the guard, sending him to the ground.)
Guard: [This is impossible! That superweapon was supposed to make us undefeatable!!]
(Panel 3. Jubilee strikes the guard synched up to Wolverine in the eyes with her energy plasmoids as Wolverine slashes the guard synched up to Jubilee.)
SFX: Pip! Pop!
Guard: [My eyes!!]
(Panel 4. The remaining guard tries to run away, only to be met by Jubilee's plasmoids, Chamber's energy, Banshee's sonic scream, and the White Queen's psi blast.)
SFX: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Pip! Pop! Ping! Whoomph!
Guard: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Panel 5. Generation X runs into the compound.)
Queen: They aren't going to stay down for long. Come on, gang.
(Panel 6.)
Banshee: Keep to the plans, lads. Stick together.
(Page 14, panel 1. M and Husk come to a door.)
Husk: This looks like it.
M: I'll take care of this.
(Panel 2. M rips the door off its hinges.)
SFX: SKRECK!
M: I'm coming, Everett!
(Panel 3. Jubilee and Wolverine join them as they see Synch attached to a machine on the other side of the room.)
M: Mon dieu... Everett...
(Panel 4. They go towards Synch, but run into an invisible wall.)
M: ¿Qui les?
Synch: (weakly) M... Monet?
(Panel 5. M pounds on the shield, but it holds.)
M: Hold on, mon cher, I'll have you out soon enough!!
Synch: Wall... using... my... powers...
(Panel 6. M stops pounding on the barrier.)
Wolverine: On three.
(Page 15, full panel page. All present except Synch use their powers (or in Wolverine's case, his claws) and assault the barrier. It shatters like glass.)
Cap (W): "Three!"
SFX: POW!! Pip! Pip! WHAM!!!
(Page 16, panel 1. M approaches Synch.)
M: Ev... what have they done to you?
Wolverine: No time for that now, kid. We got get him and go.
(Panel 2. M breaks the bonds that hold Synch down. Wolverine grabs Synch as Synch falls.)
Wolverine: Synch up with me, kid. That'll get your healing factor going.
Synch: Uhn...
(Panel 3. They go out to be met by several guards.)
Guards: Stop!!
(Panel 4. M flies headlong through the guards, fists raised. They are knocked back slightly.)
M: I won't let you stop us!!
(Panel 5. The members of Generation X go out as the guards fire their weapons.)
Guard: [Stop them!!]
SFX: BLAM! BLAM!
(Page 17, panel 1. The members of Generation X run along the way, with Wolverine carrying Synch.)
SFX: BLAM! BLAM!
Wolverine: You in synch yet with me, kid?
Synch: (Weakly) Yes...
(Panel 2. The guards continue to fire, and hit Jubilee in the arm.)
SFX: BLAM! BLAM!
Jubilee: AH!!
(Panel 3. Jubilee nurses her arm, and goes on.)
SFX: BLAM! BLAM!
Wolverine: You o.k., kid?
Jubilee: They got my arm, but I can make it!
(Panel 4. The White Queen sends out a message.)
Psi balloon: (Pointing at the White Queen) Tracy, we need you to start things up there. We've got to get out in a hurry!
(Page 18, panel 1. Generation X plane. The team enters, with Wolverine carrying Synch.)
Zero G: We've got everything ready here.
Banshee: Good.
(Panel 2. Banshee and the White Queen take control of the plane, and start taxiing down the runway.)
Jubilee: Hurry up, they're almost here!
Banshee: We're going as fast as we can, Jubilee.
(Panel 3. The plane takes off as the guards enter, firing their weapons.)
SFX: BLAM! BLAM!
Soldier: [DAMN!!]
(Panel 4. The plane takes off admid gunfire.)
SFX: BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Soldier: [Come back you cowards!!]
(Page 19, panel 1. Salem Center, Westchester New York. Synch is lying in a bed with the other members of Generation X around him. Beast looks over Synch as well.)
Cap (N): After several hours of flight, Generation X stops at Salem Center to have Beast check out Synch.)
Beast: He's going to be weak for awhile, since he was held immobile, his muscles have atrophied somewhat. He should be all right after a few weeks.
Queen: That's good to hear.
(Panel 2. Synch sits up.)
Synch: I really appreciate you rescuing me.
Queen: Generation X never abandons one of its own, Ev.
(Panel 3.)
Synch: But I'd like to be alone with Monet for a moment...
Beast: I don't see why not.
(Panel 4. Exeunt all but Synch and M.)
Synch: Monet, I know you feel deeply for me as I do for you,
M: Oui...
(Panel 5.)
Synch: But don't let your love for me blind you to your safety. I don't want you to get hurt.
M: I could not stop myself, mon amour.
(Panel 6. Synch stands up.)
Synch: Being back with you is the best recovery aid I could imagine.
M: Here's to getting better soon.
(Page 20, full panel page. M and Synch embrace, and kiss.)
Cap (N1): Now Synch is back with Generation X,
Cap (N2): Who knows what the future will hold?
(Page 21, panel 1. Subreality Café. Generation X is reading this story. They look over the pages.)
Quamp: So what do you think?
Synch: I like the ending.
Jubilee: You would.
(Panel 2. Synch smiles at Jubilee.)
Synch: And just how is that different from you and Esteban?
Jubilee: Well, like... erm....
(Panel 3. Quamp rolls his eyes.)
Quamp: Relax, gang.
Queen: Well, at least it's better than what Marvel's been giving us lately.
(Panel 4.)
Banshee: Emma, a monkey pounding on a keyboard is better than what Marvel gives us.
Voice (From off panel): I heard that!!
(Panel 5. They turn to see Bob Harras there.)
Bob: We work hard to bring you great stories, and this is how you repay us!? All right, back to work!! And Ev, get out of my sight! We fired you!
Quamp: Well, I'm sure you'll always have a home in fan fiction.
(Panel 6. Focus on M's face.)
M: It was fun while it lasted.
** Sorry if I misspelled these words. I couldn't find them
