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MiST MARVEL: Generation X #57 Part 2 written by Quamp
MiST Marvel: Generation X #57, part II
The Dreaded disclaimer.
Songs referenced in this story: A Girl in Trouble by Romeo Void, Friends from Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, I Remember You by the Ramones, The Theme to the Mary Tyler Moore Show, Jubilee by 10,000 Maniacs, Arkansas Family Orgy by the Timmy’s Teeth, Moral Kiosk by R.E.M., Party Girl by the Clash, (Doe, a deer, a female deer) from the Sound of Music*, (When we come back from the wasteland of Commercials, SOL bridge. Crow, Tom and Gypsy are standing around.)
Gypsy: Guys, I’m really nervous. I mean, I don’t know how to dance!
Crow: Oh, it’s easy, Gypsy. You just move in rhythm to the music. Watch Tom and I do it.
(Crow and Tom dance.)
Gypsy: O.k., I think I can do that.
(Lights flash, buzzer sounds, and the usual pre-comic book sign chaos erupts.)
Tom: Ah! We’ve got comic book sign!
(The doors open. Door sequence. Theater of pain. Crow and Tom sit.)
Crow: Say, were are Mike and Big John?
(Mike and Big John enter.)
Big John: Look Cotten Mather, at least let me cut loose once in awhile here...
Mike: Don’t earn us an R rating, Big John.
>Caption: “Emma, Bobby, Monet, Everett, and Jono -- you guys head to Penance’s room.
Servo: [as whomever said that] And the rest of you, just stand around and look cute!
>“I think she may be in a bit o’trouble.”
Big John: [sings] A girl in trouble is a temporary thing...
>D.O.A.: Don’t just stand there, ya big lugs! Get her!
Servo: [as random gang member] I don’t see you rushing forward to get her.
Crow: [as different random gang member] Yea, you want her, get her yourself!
Big John: If you have to kidnap a babe to get her, you’ve got some serious problems...
>The boss ain’t gonna be able to hold off the other kids for very long!
>Wrap: But D.O.A.... her skin is razor sharp!
Servo: [as Wrap] I just changed my bandages! I don’t want to spend another 4 hours doing it again!
>Woman: Wrap, you’re just a big baby.
Crow: [as Wrap] I am not a big baby! Am not am not am not!
>Synch: Looks like we’re just in time!
Servo: Mindless violence time!
>D.O.A.: Aw, nuts!
Servo: A nasty villain and all he can say is “Aw, nuts!?”
Big John: Tipper Gore strikes again!
>Okay, ya goons. You know the drill --
Mike: And this time, make sure it’s got the right bit in it! I don’t want a hole that’s too big or small!
Crow: And use the right power setting this time too!
>Get ‘em!
Servo: More mindless violence!
>Wrap: Hey -- this one doesn’t look so tough!
Crow: So we’re gonna throw him in the pot and cook him while he’s still fresh!
>M: That’s why he’s got friends to back him up!
Servo: [sings] Talkin’ about friends/ That’s what it’s all about/ Everybody knows/ that in this life/ You gotta have friends
>Synch: Er, thanks... I think.
Big John: [as M] But don’t think I’ve forgotten about your taking out Jubilee instead of me...
>You’re not the only ones who recognize the value of teamwork, precious.
Crow: So why don’t you actually do that, hmm?
>Woman: Invulnerable or not, you can’t stand up to my ebon energy.
Mike: Uh, who is this?
Crow: Beats me. Never seen her before.
Big John: What I’d like to know is what happened to the rest of the cool Emplate’s gang. Where’s Murmur?
Servo: It’s in his contract only to appear in good comic books.
Mike: In that case, we’re never going to see him again.
>Synch: Oh yea?
Big John: YEA!
> Well, let’s see if you can stand up to your “Ebon energy” courtesy of my synchrnonastic aura!
>Woman: AARGH!
Mike: Erm.... aren’t mutants supposed to be immune to their own powers?
Big John: Yep. Never you mind she’s holding that energy in her hands in the previous panels.
>M: Well, that sure took you long enough.
Servo: [as M] Now for your next assignment, find us some decent writing!
Crow: [as Synch] You inhuman fiend! That’s not possible in the Marvel Universe!
>Synch: What? You know, a thank you wouldn’t be out of line.
>M: No, just out of character.
Mike: Since when has Marvel ever been concerned with keeping a character in character?
Big John: Well, so far, this is the one and only example...
>Chamber: Vincente! I remember you --
Big John: [sings] I remember you/ Ooh/ I remember you/ Ooh/
>You’re the wanker who can turn himself into a vapor!
Servo: Well, since it’s been forever since you used him, I guess you have to remind readers who he is.
>Vincente: Poisonous vapor, “old chap.”
Crow: Funny, it didn’t look too poisonous when Bishop inhaled him awhile back...
Tom: Man, they’ve really been giving us plenty of opportunity to riff on that “dark” thing, haven’t they?
>Poisonous even to you.
>URK!
Mike: I give up. He can turn into a vapor, and somehow Iceman subdues him by entrapping his body but not his head in ice. If he was gaseous, shouldn’t he have been able to exit that?
Crow: You just can’t rationalize away the mistakes Marvel makes, Mike. It’s impossible.
>Chamber: Hey, nice save!
Mike: Now if you could just save this story...
>You’re not half the twit Jubilee said you were!
>Iceman: Remind me to have a little talk with Miss Lee, won’t you?
Servo: You may not be a twit, but you sure are LAME.
>Iceman: And just where do you think you’re going, small-mean-and-ugly?
Mike: Just what are D.O.A’s powers anyway?
Servo: The uncanny ability to look like Skin on drugs, that’s about it...
>D.O.A.: Hunh? Me?
Crow: Well, how may other short mean and ugly people are there in that room anyway?
Mike: Hey D.O.A., do you know where I could find some decent writing in Marvel?
>Nowhere. Nowhere at all.
Crow: Ask an obvious question, get an obvious answer.
>Iceman: I hope the others have managed to keep Emplate in check while we were gone!
Servo: I dunno, Emplate studied chess under Gary Kasperov...
>Synch: Don’t worry, they’ve handled him before, they can do it again.
Mike: Anybody wanna bet that this is gonna be some famous last words?
Big John: Mike, any fool can see this one coming from a mile away...
>Iceman: Um, Synch, buddy --
>You sure about that?
Crow: Well, in the Marvel universe, you can’t be sure of anything...
Servo: Except bad writing.
>Emma, what’s wrong with them?
Mike: Looks like a case of too much bad dialogue... It made their minds snap.
Big John: What I don’t understand is this: We know M is immune to Emplate’s powers (sort of,) so why didn’t they leave her there to fight him?
Crow: And Marvel wonders why sales have fallen.
>White Queen??: Emplate’s used his power to corrupt them... to bring them over to his side!
Mike: There’s that eating with your hands thing again...
Servo: Someone should teach these people table manners.
>Emplate: This should be worth the price of admission!
Mike: Well, we got this for free...
Big John: And it’s still overpriced.
Crow: But the poor writer of this MiSTing had to pay $3.00 for it!
Servo: Oh, way to break the fourth wall, beagle boy.
Big John: Hey Banshee, what do you say to having Hama write you again?
>Banshee: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Servo: Now look what you’ve done, Big John.
>Husk: You think you’re better than everyone else, don’t you?
Crow: [as M] Well, I have adapted to this bad writing better than you have...
>M: Easy Paige...
Big John: [as M] Or you’ll ruin my hair and makeup!
>You can beat this!
All: Just get Lobdell back on this series!
>Iceman: What are you waiting for?
Mike: [as Iceman] A written invitation from the decent writing guild? Stop this comic book now!
>Use your powers to undo the whammy Emplate put on them!
Servo: Sorry, there’s nothing that can be done about bad writing...
Big John: [as Iceman] and hurry because I want to return to our date and then we can get a kiss!
Crow: What? No references about sex, Big John?
Big John: I thought I’d give Increase Mather here a break.
Mike: MOVING RIGHT ALONG...
>White Queen: I’m trying, Drake!
Crow: At Avis, we try harder.
>Chamber: Come on now, Angelo! Don’t make me blast you!
Mike: You know, hero-fights-hero fights are just cheap sales boosting devices.
>Skin: You think I’m a wimp, just like everyone else!
Servo: A wimp, no. Lame, yes.
Crow: You may not be a wimp but you’ve got a terrible fashion sense!
>Well, I’m gonna prove you wrong, vato!
>Jubilee: You mute freak!
Mike: Looked in the mirror lately, Jubilee?
Crow: I thought all mutants were freaks, at least according to the storyline.
>Synch: I got an idea!
Mike: Uh-oh. When Marvel gets an idea, it’s usually a bad one.
>I’m gonna synch up with Jubilee!
Servo: [as Synch] That’ll teach her to spoil our date!
>White Queen?: Everett, no, it’s too dangerous!
Crow: No fear!
Mike: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
>Synch: I know what I’m doing, Emma!
Big John: [as Synch] Jubilee loves me! I just got to show her some loving back!
Mike: Dream on.
>Jubilee: You may be able to synch up with my powers but not my training, you moron!
Servo: [as Jubilee] I can still do the best handstand in all of New England!
>Synch: That’s it, Jubes -- get mad!
Crow: Don’t get mad - get glad!
Mike: Read enough Marvel comics and you’ll go mad.
>You want to hurt me, don’t you?
Crow: Actually, I want to hurt the people responsible for doing this - the writing is awful!
Big John: You know, Faerber was supposed to save Generation X from destruction. While he’s prevented its cancellation, he hasn’t improved the script quality that much.
>You want to kill me! Don’t you?!
Mike: [as Synch] It’s o.k. to kill me, because I’ll just get resurrected again.
Big John: Hey Jubes, Hama’s coming back next issue! What do you think of that?
>Jubilee: AIIIEEE!
Crow: Now look what you’ve done.
>Jubilee: Your plan worked, Synch!
Servo: Well, one down, three more to go!
Mike: Speaking of which, what happened to the other Generation X members turned bad?
>It got me angry enough to break Emplate’s hold on me!
>And now I’m gonna end this once and for all!
Servo: She’s stopping this comic book?
Mike: I doubt it...
>White Queen?: Bobby
Big John: [as the White Queen] Get your hand off my -
Mike: [interrupts] Big John!
>Iceman: On it!
Big John: Still think I’m wrong?
Mike: I give up.
>Sound Effect: BRAKKABABOOM
Crow: You know, with all the property damage that occurs in the Marvel Universe, it’s a wonder any building is left standing...
Big John: [sings] As for the Jubilee/ With a bucket/ In his right hand/ With rags soaked in gasoline/ ... he watches the flames/ Rising higher/ Science reeling/ Down towards the sea/
(The lights come up, and the doors open. Door sequence. Bridge. Gypsy has decorated the bridge with several decorations for a dance. A mirrored ball now hangs from the ceiling. Mike and the bots enter.)
Big John: Let’s hope our dance doesn’t end up in a similar disaster.
Crow: You know, since every major event in Marveldom ends up in disaster, I have to wonder why they hold them in the first place. I mean, after a number of blown weddings, ruined holidays, and the like, you’d think they’d get the point by now.
(The Commercial light comes on.)
Mike: This is Marvel, Crow. Nothing in it makes sense.
Servo: We’ve got commercial light.
(Still more insulting commercials to turn your mind into mush. When we come back, the scene is a spacecraft. Inside the one-person craft is Angel, Mike’s fiancée. She is piloting the spaceship towards the Deep INIT station.)
Angel: I’ve spent almost two years coming after you, Mike... but you’re not getting away from me without an explanation.
(The spacecraft arrives near Phobos.)
Angel: DNA sensors say you’re here, Mike... you owe me one big explanation...
(Suddenly the station fires a volley of lasers at Angel, who tries to dodge them.)
Angel: You’re not getting rid of me that easily!
(Angel’s rocket is hit, and goes down Deep INIT bridge. Mike and the bots watch helplessly as Angel’s rocket goes down.)
Gypsy: The self-defense grid won’t go off! I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do...
(Angel’s rocket bumps two or three times, and crashes. It splits in half, and the rear half explodes into flames.)
Gypsy: Sensors are showing one female life form... and she’s hurt!
Mike: We’ve got to rescue her now!
(Mike rushes to the spacesuits as the bots go to the airlock. Next we see them going out with a spare spacesuit.)
Mike: I hope she can be helped...
(They arrive at the upper half of the spaceship to see it is damaged but airtight.)
Mike: Can we get in?
Big John: I think we can open the door....
(Big John opens the door and Mike and the bots enter. Big John closes the door, stopping the air from escaping.)
Mike: Oh my God! Angel!
(They check Angel over.)
Big John: She’s got several cuts and bruises, and a broken ankle. I think we can get her to the station, though...
Mike: Help me get the suit on her.
(They put the suit on Angel, and Mike and Big John carry her out. Next scene: Castle Forrester. Pearl, an Observer, and Brain Guy are contacting the station. Gypsy is on the screen, trying to stall them.)
Pearl: I’m not going to ask you again... WHERE IS MIKE NELSON!?!?!?
Gypsy: All right, I’ll come clean. He’s investigating the crash that just occurred outside.
Observer: Sensors did show that the self-defense system shot down a passing spaceship.
Pearl: He can do that later!! You tell him to get his sorry backside back there now!!
(Deep INIT bridge. Mike and the bots enter, with Big John and Mike carrying Angel. Crow and Servo approach the screen.)
Pearl: What did you find out there!?
Crow: Just a few knickknacks, Pearl... the place was mostly destroyed when we got there... and we found a dead woman...
Pearl: So, Mike thinks he can date someone better than him? Well, right now, you’ve got a comic book to watch!
(Pearl throws the comic book switch as Big John and Mike set Angel down. Lights flash, a buzzer sounds, and the usual pre-door sequence chaos erupts.)
Mike: Ah! We’ve got comic book sign!
(Door sequence. Theater. Mike and the bots sit as the comic book resumes.)
Mike: I hope she’ll make it...
Big John: Gypsy is looking after her, Mike. She’s in good hands.
>Husk: Iceman did it!
Crow: [as a little kid] He did it! He did it! It wasn’t me! It was him!
Big John: All right! Way to go, big guy!
Mike: Not quite.
>His ice dome protected us from the brunt of the blast!
Mike: How was Jubilee able to blow up the place when she was inside that ice dome?
Servo: You know, I have to wonder if they make such mistakes just to see how people can rationalize them away.
>Skin: But what about Penance? She wasn’t under the dome with us!
Crow: Hey! Everyone else magically reappeared!
Servo: Just like early issues of X-Force.
>M: Neither was Emplate! He’s hurt, but alive!
Crow: [as Jubilee] Darn! I was hoping we could get him for good here!
>Banshee: I... I wish I could say the same for Penance! It’s hard to be sure with her, but...
Crow: She’s having a sit-down strike until she gets some decent writing?
Servo: She’s faking it so she can escape and get in a better series?
Big John: She’s wanting some stud to give her mouth-to-mouth?
Mike: She’s not getting up until she gets some decent writing?
>Banshee: I think she might be dead!
Mike: Ah, don’t worry. She’ll be resurrected in no time.
>White Queen: Um, Sean, I don’t think it’s so cut-and-dry.
Crow: No! Not another convoluted plotline!
Servo: Crow buddy, that’s pretty much guaranteed in a Marvel comic.
>(Nicole and Claudette appear, holding hands.)
Crow: [as Nicole] Hi guys! Miss us?
Servo: [as Claudette] Here we are, one of the dumbest plotlines ever to come from Marvel!
>Caption: Later that night, in the top secret complex that lies beneath the campus...
Mike: They have an infirmary, they don’t have an infirmary... well, which is it?
>Banshee: Near as we can tell, Emplate is gonna make it.
Servo: [sings] You’re gonna make it after all...
>Normally, an explosion like that wouldn’t have phased ‘im --
Servo: But we made him weak by reading him Hama and Faerber scripts!
>-- but seein’ as how he’s in a weakened state, he was more susceptible t’ the force o’ the explosion.
Crow: And a plot hole has been conveniently and loosely covered.
>And the kids have all been fed the right cover story, right, Tom?
Crow: And another plot hole has been loosely covered.
Servo: [as Corsi] But I really don’t think the story should have involved yak butter, a flock of Nightingales, and a blue torpedo!
>Corsi: Yep. The phone lines are flooded right now with kids calling their folks,
Big John: Begging them to get the kids out of there!
>telling them how an eletrical fire blew up Proudstar hall.
Mike: An electrical fire? Whatever happened to those sprinklers?
>White Queen: So that leaves us with the question of what we’re going to do about --
Crow: Getting some decent writing? Sorry, can’t help you there...
Servo: Getting rid of dumb plotlines? Can’t help you there...
Big John: Getting a hot stud to love? Well, I’m available, babe!
Mike: *SIGH*...
>-- THAT.
>Without the twins, the Penance body is just an empty shell ....
>... RIGHT?
Servo: I think we’ve got some foreshadowing to a dumb plotline ahead....
Crow: You can tell where this one is going now.
>Caption: The Infirmary.
Servo: Which seems to magically appear and disappear at the writer’s convenience.
>Nicole: Oh, okay, it’s weird,
Servo: That’s pretty much a given in any Marvel comic book.
>but I don’t remember the explosion, or exactly what happened.
Crow: Because darnit, I forgot to take my Gingko and Choline!
>M: I know you feel okay, Nicole, but Miss Frost just wants to keep you here overnight as a precaution.
Crow: And the fact that we don’t have enough space in the women’s dormitory here...
>Nicole: But an explosion is what caused Claudette and I to split back when we were masquerading as you.
Mike: You don’t follow continuity, you follow continuity... well, which is it?
Servo: I think they follow continuity only when it suits them.
>So it makes sense that another explosion freed us again, right?
Crow: Only if you use Marvel logic.
Servo: Crow, that’s a contradiction of terms.
>M: We can ponder these things tomorrow.
Big John: [as M] I have to get back to my date with Skin and end it before it becomes utterly terrible!
>Right now, I’m just glad to have my sisters back.
>Voice: And your brother.
Servo: Aw, how sweet... a family reunion....
Big John: [sings] It’s my/ Family reunion in spot-in-the-road class/ Arkansas gonna-
Mike: That’s enough of that.
>M: Yeah... and him.
Crow: Something tells me Monet’s not too keen on having her brother around...
>Skin: Hey, if it isn’t the St. Croix girls!
Mike: Not one word out of you three...
(Crow whistles.)
Crow: [as Skin] And it’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made Your vanity makes Cassiopeia look humble in comparison!
>and I know why they did it.
Servo: Because you went and ruined their Sony Playstation!
>And I can admit it --
Servo: [as Skin] Your hair is way too long, and I’d have to spend a fortune pampering you. I think you need a few weeks in el Barrio before you can be my friend.
>It felt good to
Big John: Get me a -
>walk in a room with a beautiful woman on my arm. But--
Servo: [as Skin] You got footprints all over my sleeve! That suit has to be dry cleaned, you know!
>... I ain’t the one to take charity.
Big John: [as Skin] She’s a carbon copy of you without the good looks! I won’t date an ugly broad!
>M: Oh please.
All: Find me some decent writing!
>Don’t flatter yourself. Believe it or not, I only asked you because no one asked me! Charity... Hah!
Big John: You know, that should tell you something about yourself, babe.
>Skin: Ah! I shoulda known!
Crow: Rich people rarely help out those less fortunate than they are! Especially if they are as stuck up as you are, bimbo!
>St. Croix would never do anything nice for anyone!
Tom: This scene will stop anyone wanting these two to get together.
>Caption: Elsewhere on Campus...
Servo: Elvis has left the building...
>all I could think about was you, Paige.
Big John: After all, if you died, I would have to wait until you got resurrected again to get a kiss from you!
>I didn’t know what kind of danger you were in.
Big John: [sings] You’re so much more attractive/ Inside the moral kiosk...
>I had to sit here and worry in silence.
Crow: [as Tristan] Because all those other guys taped my mouth shut and then gave me a wedgie!
>Husk: Wow, Tristan.
Crow: [as Husk] That’s the biggest pile of bull I’ve ever heard!
>you’re... you’re so in touch with your feelings.
Big John: [as Tristan] Hey, I can’t believe this crock I fed her worked!
>Most boys I know are just that --
Big John: [sings] Elevator - going up!
>Caption: Elsewhere still...
Crow: Panty raid!
(Mike reaches over and hits Crow.)
Crow: OW!
>Jubilee: That was really cool of you to help me shake Emplate’s influence, you know?
Big John: Methinks Jubilee’s getting hot to trot!
>Synch: Hey, no problem Jubes.
Crow: I would have done it for anyone... except maybe Skin...
>I know you.
Servo: [sinisterly] And I know what you did last summer!
>I know how to push your buttons.
Mike: And the button I’m pushing now should make you blow off!
>Jubilee: Sure is nice to have someone in my life who knows me so well.
Servo: [as Synch] Yes, now Jubilee... SHUT UP!!!
>Synch: I know what you mean.
Servo: Ah feel your pain.
>I’m really glad we can talk like this. That we’re close.
Servo: [sings] Get a little closer/ With arrid extra dry...
>Did you see Monet tonight? My God, she looked beautiful.
Big John: Oh, you idiot!! You’ve got a hot babe next to you and you talk about her biggest rival like that! This is not going to get you a night in bed with either one of them!
>Jubilee’s thoughts: Oh, yeah, Ev.
Servo: [emotionally, as Jubilee] How dare you talk about that hussy in front of me! I outta slap you silly for that!
>You really don’t know me well, don’t ya?
Crow: [as Jubilee] And when you least expect it, I’m gonna play Lorena Bobbitt!
>Caption: The main driveway.
Crow: They should have driven this script off a cliff.
>Iceman: So...
Crow: Ohmigawd it’s a blue jean commercial! Run for your life!
>Iceman: I guess there’s not more questioning it.
Servo: Nope, it’s undeniable. Marvel comics have hit a new low here.
>You like me!
Servo: [as the White Queen] Me? Like a C.P.A? No way! It’s bad enough that I was caught playing videogames earlier, but one more transgression will get me thrown out of the beautiful women’s guild!
>Queen: And what gives you that idea?
Big John: [as the White Queen] I can read you mind, and frankly, I’ve never seen such a foul cesspool in my life!
>Iceman: You asked me to be your date. How big of a hint do I need?
Crow: A hint, maybe not. A clue, definitely.
>White Queen: Oh, that? Please.
All: Get away from me, you C.P.A. creep!
>You were the closest available body.
Mike: Go back here. Isn’t Banshee closer to her when she says she’s going out with Iceman?
>I’d have asked the Blob if he had been there.
Servo: Because he’s not a C.P.A. like you!
>Iceman: Yeah. Right.
Crow: This message brought to you by denial. Denial, it’s better than dedanube!
>Queen: Really. I’d have asked the Toad.
Mike: This guy just doesn’t have a clue, does he?
>Iceman: The Toad? You’re comparing me to the Toad?
All: No contest - toad wins by a landslide.
>If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were deliberately trying to hurt my feelings.
Crow: [as a little kid] You big bully! I’m gonna run home and tell mama on you!
>Iceman: Heh.
Servo: [as Iceman as a hypnotist] Look deep into my eyes... you are getting sleepy... sleepy... Your eyelids are becoming heavy... so heavy...
>Queen: So...
Servo: Let’s not do that again...
>Iceman: Good Night, Emma.
All: Good riddance!
>The top secret complex that lies beneath the campus.
Crow: Oh no! It’s Night of the Living Dead!
>To be continued!
Mike: Let’s end it here and say we finished it.
(The doors open, and Mike and the bots exit the place. Door sequence. Bridge. Mike and the bots gather around the screen.)
Mike: Well, this is where Pearl usually contacts us...
(Pause.)
Mike: Well, let’s contact her.
(Mike pushes the button, and then the screen opens up. In Castle Forrester, we see Brain Guy, Bobo, and two Observers standing over a chair. Lying in this chair is Pearl, who has mud on her face, curlers in her hair, and the like. Bobo holds a jackhammer, and the Observer holds a sledgehammer.)
Observer: Ready Bobo?
(Bobo turns on the jackhammer, and starts working on Pearl’s face. The Observer also hits Pearl’s face with the sledgehammer. Mike and the bots look at each other.)
Big John: I hope Bobo’s gotten better with that jackhammer than the last time I saw him use it.
(Bobo looses control of the jackhammer, and he careens wildly around the room.)
Bobo: AH!!
(The Observer pulls the air hose off the jackhammer, and it stops, but Bobo keeps going.)
Big John: Nope - not one bit.
(Another Observer notices Mike and the bots watching them.)
Observer: Cut it - we’re being watched!
(The Observer approaches the screen.)
Observer: Well Mike, how are we feeling.
(Pearl stands up, and the camera lens shatters.)
Pearl: What?! You’d better be insane out there!
(The screen goes blank.)
Pearl: Grr!!
Mike: She broke the camera lens?
(Enter Gypsy and Angel.)
Gypsy: Everyone, good news. Angel here has recovered from her crash.
(Mike turns, and approaches Angel with open arms.)
Mike: Angel! It’s good to see you again!
(Mike stops dead in his tracks.)
Mike: Well, we were kidnapped and brought here against our will.
(Mike takes Angel’s hands.)
Mike: [with sad puppy eyes] Please... it wasn’t my idea to come here, believe me...
(Pause.)
Angel: [smiles] Well, all right. I forgive you, this time...
(The two of them embrace, and kiss. Big John holds up a “thumbs up” sign. Mike and Angel then part.)
Tom: Hey, don’t forget about the dance we’ve set up.
(Mike turns to Crow.)
Mike: Hit it!
(Crow turns on a CD player.)
CD: Yo! I’ll tell you what I want/ what I really really want/
(Mike and Angel grimace.)
Angel: could we get another CD here?
(Crow stops the CD.)
Crow: Well, here at Deep INIT we’ve got only really wussy music here... Disco, Hanson, the Spice Girls, Vanilla Ice, Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block...
(All look disheartened.)
Mike: Well, as long as we’re together, It’s gonna work, right? I mean, no relationship is perfect...
Angel: Well, you got to take the good with the bad...
Crow: [as Skin] I’m sick of being treated like a token Mexican! If Marvel doesn’t improve my status soon, I’m walking!
Mike: [interrupts] Stop right there.
Big John: [as Ralph Cramden] One of these days, Mike...
Crow: [as M] Ha! That suit looked like you got it at the Salvation Army!
Crow: Oh yea? Let’s see if you’ll take charity when you’re homeless...
Mike: It’s almost enough to make you want to give up Generation X all together.
>Tristan (?): When Mr. Corsi made us leave the building,
Crow: And the reason why is pretty obvious.
>I know something big was going on inside.
Big John: Some guys will do anything to get a kiss from a babe.
Servo: [as Husk] Well, as someone from Spot-in-the-road-Kentucky, Ah reserve the right to be amused and taken in by even the dumbest of thangs!
>--Boys. They’re too concerned with being big, tough guys that they don’t admit to what’s really going on inside them.
Mike: [angered] Big John! One more out of you and I’m taping up your optical sensors.
Mike: Not quite.
Big John: [as Jubilee] and I’m hoping to get to know your mouth really well here...
Big John: [getting disgusted] Enough of this wishy-washy stuff. KISS HER ALREADY!!
Mike: Ah, once again, Marvel doesn’t fail to disappoint.
Crow: That seems to be the only thing consistent in the Marvel universe.
Big John: This is definitely not the way to get a babe in bed.
>White Queen: So...
Servo: [sings] A needle pulling thread!
Crow: Or as lame.
Crow: [as the White Queen] I’m a telepath! You can’t hypnotize me ! Get away from me you creep!
>Iceman: So...
Crow: [as Iceman] You’ve got such pretty ears. Can I take them?
Servo: Penance! There’s a way out of this series! Go get it, girl!
Bobo: Yea.
Pearl: MNPH!
Mike: Oh, I’m fine, thanks for asking.
Mike: No, not really...
Big John: She fried my optical sensors the first time I saw her without makeup.
Angel: Don’t you Angel me Michael J. Nelson! You owe me a serious explanation!
Crow: He really does love you. I hear him saying your name when he’s sleeping in his quarters.
Angel: You... dream about me?
Mike: Only when the dreams are pleasant. Please, I do love you, and I wouldn’t do anything to harm you.
Servo: He really does love you, Angel. There’s a heart with an arrow through it on Mike’s notebook, and on that heart is written “Angel.”
Angel: Well, you ran out on me twice, I don’t know if I should forgive you again...
Big John: If it had been, he certainly wouldn’t have brought me along.
Mike: You’ve made me very happy, Angel...
Mike: Oh yea, - Well dear, you ready to cut a rug?
Angel: I hope you haven’t lost your touch.
CD: I wanna huh! I wanna huh!
Big John: Well, I’ve got my Mojo Nixon/ Jello Biafra CD, but you really can’t dance to it...
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