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DEADPOOL/GENERATION X: "Corporate Raider" written by Quamp
(Front cover. We see Deadpool in his uniform, going through a filing cabinet. Behind him on the wall we see a shadow of a hand pointing a gun at him.)
Cap (N): Deadpool takes on Corporate America?
(Page 1, panel 1. Casa Deadpool. We see Deadpool sitting on the sofa, watching television. He wears his uniform, minus the weaponry.)
Cap (N1): Casa Deadpool.
Cap (N2): Right now, Mercedes and Firelasher are out shopping.
Cap (N3): Thunderweasel is off on some mission.
Cap (N4): And Deadpool is just relaxing.
(Panel 2. We see Deadpool is watching Mystery Science Theater 3000.)
Cap (D1): Ah, MST3K.
Cap (D2): It’s a shame it was cancelled.
Cap (D3): I hope it will find life in syndication.
Cap (D4): I really like those bots.
(Panel 3. The phone rings.)
SFX: Ring! Ring!
Cap (D): Pesky phone.
(Panel 4. Deadpool answers the phone.)
Deadpool: Timmy’s discount used lemonade stand! Beat the heat with our special treat!
(Panel 5. Deadpool gets angry.)
Deadpool: It’s none of your damn business whether or not my refridgerator is running!
(Panel 6. Deadpool slams the phone down.)
Deadpool: Damn kids.
(Page 2, panel 1. Deadpool sees a suitcase with a note attached to it teleport in.)
Deadpool: [fearing the worst] Ohmigawd!!!
(Panel 2. Deadpool dives behind the couch.)
Deadpool: Oh please, I’m too young to die and get resurrected again!
(Panel 3. Pause. Panel 4. Deadpool stands.)
Deadpool: No boom?
(Panel 5. Deadpool approaches the suitcase.)
Deadpool: A note... hmm...
(Panel 6. We see the note. It reads: “Deadpool - you were very hard to find, but now that I’ve found you, I need your help. Go to the offices of Meredian Enterprises, and liberate the file on Steven Carlson. Deliver that file to the address on the back of this note. This is half of the money in advance.”)
Deadpool: An assignment?
(Page 3, panel 1. Deadpool opens the suitcase to see that it is full of money.)
Deadpool: All right! We’ve got some money honey!
(Panel 2. Deadpool closes the suitcase.)
Deadpool: That file is as good as there, my friend... but I have to get ready first.
(Panel 3. Meredian Enterprises, Boston. We see the building in longshot.)
Cap (N1): It is the next morning.
Cap (N2): The place is Boston, Mass.
Cap (N3): Home of the Celtics, the Bruins, the bar Cheers, and Meredian Enterprises.
Cap (N4): And Meredian Enterprises is headed by a young but headstrong woman -
(Panel 4. Go inside to see Adrienne Frost sitting at her desk, talking on the telephone.)
Cap (N): Adrienne Frost!
Frost: Don’t tell me no on this, McDaniel. You wouldn’t like to be on my bad side.
(Panel 5. Adrienne continues to talk.)
Adrienne: Look I’m only continuing operations there because workers are so cheap. Now, I’ve got several offers from other countries to move to them, and if San Sebastian doesn’t comply with what I want, I’m picking up everything and leaving!
(Panel 6. Adrienne slams the phone down.)
SFX: SLAM!!
(Page 4, panel 1. Go back to Deadpool. We see him armed to the teeth and ready to enter the place. He stands outside Meredian Enterprises.)
Cap (N): Meanwhile...
Cap (D): Teleporter don’t fail me now.
(Panel 2. Deadpool teleports into Meredian Enterprises.)
Cap (N): And we have plot.
(Panel 3. Go back to Adrienne Frost. We see her standing up, angered.)
Adrienne: And if anything like this happens again, I’m firing you!
(Panel 4. A man exits, dejected.)
Cap (A1): I am surrounded by fools.
Cap (A2): These people don’t know what they’re doing half the time.
(Panel 5. She leans against a support column.)
Cap (A): Half the time they don’t know which way is up.
(Panel 6. She receives a psychic flash.)
Cap (A1): Ohmigawd!
Cap (A2): An intruder!
(Page 5, panel 1. Adrienne pushes some buttons.)
SFX: Click click click.
Adrienne: Security! Go to file room number 3 immediately! We have an intruder there!!
(Panel 2. File room #3. We see Deadpool there, picking the lock on a file cabinet. The place is dark.)
Cap (D1): Almost got it.
Cap (D2): Ah, the joys of corporate espionage...
(Panel 3. The filing cabinet opens.)
Cap (D1): Bingo.
Cap (D2): Come to papa.
(Panel 4. Deadpool pulls out a file.)
Cap (D1): Now to get out of here...
Cap (D2): Easiest $2 mil, I’ve ever made...
(Panel 5. Deadpool turns around as the lights come on. He now sees a gun pointing at him between the eyes.)
SFX: Click.
Deadpool: Uh-oh.
Guard: I’ll take that file.
(Panel 6. Deadpool pushes his teleporter, but nothing happens.)
Deadpool: (1) Sorry gang, but I gotta run here...
Deadpool: (2) Oh crud.
Deadpool: (3) This is a bad time for me to simulate Peter Parker’s luck.
Guard: We’ve got anti-teleportation devices working in the building now, thief.
(Page 6, panel 1. Deadpool strikes the man’s gun, sending it veering off as the guards open fire.)
Deadpool: The hard way it is then.
SFX: POW! Blam! Blam! Blam!
(Panel 2. Deadpool dives and returns their fire.)
SFX: Blam! Blam! Blam!
(Panel 3. Deadpool makes his way past the guards, who follow him, firing all the way.)
Deadpool: Sorry I can’t stay and chit-chat, but I’ve got to run.
SFX: Blam! Blam! Blam!
(Panel 4. Deadpool goes down a hallway with the guards running after him and firing.)
Cap (D): This file had better be important to warrant this kind of security.
Guard: Stop! Come back here!!
SFX: Blam! Blam! Blam!
Deadpool: Oh right, like I’m going to stop just because you said so.
(Panel 5. Deadpool drops a smoke grenade. which explodes into smoke.)
Deadpool: Time for a strategic drop.
SFX: Blam! Blam! Blam!
(Panel 6. The guards stop fighting as they are engulfed in smoke.
Guard: Smoke!
SFX: Blam!
(Page 7, panel 1. We see Deadpool going down a corridor, with smoke behind him.)
Cap (D1) Got to find a way out of the place...
Cap (D2): Ah-ha! The air vents.
(Panel 2. We see a very angry Adrienne Frost gritting her teeth at one of the guards.)
Adrienne: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST HIM!?!?
Guard: (nervous) Well, Ms. Frost, he used a smoke canister on us. But don’t worry, we’ve got guards at every exit, and they’re bolting all the doors as we speak... he won’t get out of here...
(Panel 3. Adrienne is close to the guard.)
Adrienne: If he leaves with that file... you are finished!!
Guard: Of course, Ms. Frost. Do not worry, he won’t leave here with that file.
(Panel 4. Exit the guard.)
Cap (A): I’m going to need Emma’s team.
(Panel 5. Adrienne picks up the phone and dials.)
SFX: Beep boop beep boop.
(Panel 6. She talks on the telephone.)
Adrienne: Get me the School for Gifted Youngsters.
(Page 8, panel 1. The Mass. Academy. We see the White Queen walking across the room where a telephone is. The phone rings.)
SFX: Ring! Ring!
(Panel 2. Emma answers the phone.)
Queen: Mass. academy for gifted youngsters, this is Emma Frost.
(Panel 3. Split the panel with a phone cord until further notice. On one side, we see Adrienne talking. On the other Emma is listening.)
Adrienne: Emma, dear sister -
Emma: What do you want, Adrienne?
(Panel 4. They continue to talk.)
Adrienne: I see you know me too well, sister. Well, I’ve got a corporate spy running amok in my building. He’s a mutant, and we’re unable to contain him. I need Generation X.
(Panel 5. Emma smiles sinisterly.)
Emma: I’ve told you before, Generation X is not a team that you can use at your whims. You’ve got a security force at your place, use it. The kids have fallen very far behind on their studies, and they need to catch up.
Adrienne: Well, I see who my friends really are now.. and how when I help out a family member, they don’t return the favor.
(Panel 6. Emma is serious.)
Emma: Adrienne, I’m not taking the kids for one of your little “field trips.” That last one nearly cost all of them their lives at one point or another. Besides, Sean agrees with me.
Adrienne: Then let me talk to him.
(Page 9, panel 1. Emma sighs.)
Adrienne: And no using your psi powers on him.
Emma: *SIGH*... all right... don’t say I didn’t warn you, sister.
Psi Balloon: (pointing to the White Queen): Sean, pick up the phone. It’s my wonderful sister.
(Panel 2. Banshee’s office. We see him receive the psi message from Emma. The panel is no longer split here.)
Banshee: All right, Emma.
(Panel 3. Banshee picks up the phone.)
Banshee: Hello? (Panel 4. Do a 3-way split with a phone cord until further notice. In one, we see Banshee. In the next, we see Emma. In the third, we see Adrienne.)
Adrienne: Sean, we’ve got some corporate spies making mincemeat of my security. I need to have the kids come over. This is one tough mutant.
Banshee: Lass, Generation X is nae f’r your beckon call. The kids are behind on their studies as is. We canna afford t’have more delays in their education.
Emma: I did warn you, sister...
(Panel 5. Adrienne gets upset.)
Adrienne: Well, I come in and bail the team out, but I see that you don’t care about it when I’m in trouble!!
(Panel 6. End phone cord splitting. Adrienne slams the telephone down.)
Adrienne: Damn you!!
(Page 10, panel 1. Go back to Deadpool. We see him crawling around in an air shaft.)
Cap (N): Meanwhile...
Cap (D): Almost there...
(Panel 2. Deadpool opens a grating to see nobody in front of a door.)
Deadpool: Bingo.
(Panel 3. He comes out, and straight into about 4 guards, who have their guns drawn.)
Deadpool: (1) Aw, maaan...
Deadpool: (2) Is one break too much to ask for?
Guard: Well, looks like we’ve caught us a thief here... Now, let’s take him to Adrienne. I’m sure she’d like to see him.
(Panel 4. The guards hold their guns to Deadpool’s head, and disarm him.)
Deadpool: Disarming me isn’t going to do you much good...
(Panel 5. He makes a jumping kick, knocking over two of the guards.)
Deadpool: I do have some unarmed combat skills.
SFX POW!
(Panel 6. The guards open fire, and one of them shoots Deadpool’s leg.)
SFX: Blam! Blam! Blam!
Deadpool: UHN!
(Page 11, panel 1. Deadpool goes down as the guards shoot his other leg.)
SFX: Blam! Blam! Blam!
Deadpool: GAH!
(Panel 2. Deadpool slumps over.)
Deadpool: Come on over here... I’ll bite your kneecaps off...
Guard: You have a date with Adrienne Frost, thief.
(Panel 3. Adrienne’s office. We see her facing Deadpool. Deadpool is being held up by two guards. There are about 3 other guards around the office. The file rests on Adrienne’s desk. )
Cap (N): And so...
Adrienne: Well, Deadpool, I see we meet again.
Deadpool: What can I say? I always had a fondness for classy dames.
(Panel 4. Adrienne points a finger in Deadpool’s chest, angered.)
Adrienne: You’ve caused thousands in damage! You shot and injured 10 guards! All for what!? One file!?
Deadpool: Hey, it’s all that my employer wanted.
(Panel 5. Adrienne gives Deadpool a kick in the privates.)
SFX: WHAM!!
Deadpool: OOHF!!!
(Panel 6. Deadpool bends down slightly.)
Adrienne: You wanted to ruin me, Deadpool... well, nobody ruins Adrienne Frost!
(Page 12, panel 1. Adrienne takes out the sword that killed her husband.)
Adrienne: I shall take considerable pleasure in dismembering you...
Deadpool: Much like you ordered your husband be?
Cap (D): Almost there... just got to wait a little...
(Panel 2. Adrienne is caught off guard slightly.)
Deadpool: Oh yes, I read the file... and when the authorities find out about this, they’re not going to be too happy.
Adrienne: Who hired you, Merc??
(Panel 3. Adrienne rears up to strike.)
Deadpool: I may be a lot of things, but a rat isn’t one of them.
Adrienne: Good bye, Deadpool... ironic, all those times you’ve cheated death... now it’s coming for you...
(Panel 4. Deadpool stands, and pushes the guards into Adrienne as she comes down with the sword. She ends up hacking one of the guards.)
SFX: SHLURK!!
Deadpool: Sorry, but I’ve got a million waiting for me to give that file to someone important...
(Panel 5. Deadpool throws the other guard, and goes for the file.)
Adrienne: Stop him!!
SFX: Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
(Panel 6. Deadpool grabs the file.)
Deadpool: God I hope this works...
(Page 13, panel 1. Deadpool jumps out the window as the guards fire on him.)
SFX: Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
Adrienne: He’s getting away!! You idiots!!!
(Panel 2. Deadpool teleports out as the guards cease fire.)
Adrienne: DAMN THAT POOL! HE’S GOT THE ONE FILE THAT WILL RUIN EVERYTHING!
(Panel 3. Adrienne turns to her guards.)
Adrienne: You idiots! You let him get away! You’re fired!
(Panel 4. Go back to Deadpool. We see him teleport into a mattress shop, right above a mattress. Several people are shocked by his appearance.)
Saleswoman: Ohmigawd!!
(Panel 5. Deadpool lands on a bed, breaking it.)
SFX: WHAM!!!
(Panel 6. Deadpool turns over.)
Deadpool: Ooh... Check myself over... one cracked rib, one busted kneecap... and a lot of bruises.... check....
(Page 14, panel 1. The saleswoman approaches Deadpool.)
Saleswoman: Hey! Someone’s going to have to pay for that!!
Deadpool: Don’t get your panties in a bunch, darling. I can cover it.
(Panel 2. He gives her some money as he teleports out.)
Deadpool: That should cover it.
Saleswoman: Ooh! Men!!
(Panel 3. Deadpool teleports into a pleasant upper-class suburban area. The large house is lavish, but not a mansion.)
Deadpool: Well, this is the address....
(Panel 4. About 5 armed U.S. Army troopers enter, weapons drawn.)
Deadpool: Aw, not again.
(Panel 5. Enter Val Cooper from the house.)
Val : Well, the world-famous Deadpool. What do you want, Merc?
Deadpool: My orders were to deliver this file to this address.
(Panel 6. Val takes the file.)
Val: I live here.
(Page 15, panel 1. Val looks the file over.)
Val: Well, I never would have guessed this... now, you’ve got some crimes you’ve got to answer for, Deadpool.
Deadpool: (Nervous) Gee, look at the time, I gotta run here...
(Panel 2. The guards open fire as Deadpool teleports out.)
Deadpool: See you later, maybe...
SFX: Blam! Blam! Blam!
(Panel 3. One of the guards approaches Val.)
Guard: What does it say?
Val: Adrienne Frost is responsible for ordering the murder of her husband... and some other crimes as well...
(Panel 4. The guard is serious.)
Guard: She’s very well protected. How can we bring her in?
Val: Leave that to me.
(Page 16, panel 1. Val goes inside, and closes the door.)
Cap: She should be in now...
(Panel 2. Val dials on the phone.)
SFX: Beep boop beep boop boop beep.
(Panel 3. Val talks.)
Val: Jeff, it’s Val, code Beta 13 S. Get me the Thunderbolts now.
(Panel 4. Casa Deadpool. Deadpool teleports back into the place to see Thunderweasel entering as well.)
Cap (N): Meanwhile...
Deadpool: Whew! What a day.
Thunderweasel: You said it, Wade. It’s been really rough out there...
(Panel 5. Mercedes and Firelasher teleport in. They hold bags and boxes of clothing and other things.)
Firelasher: Hey guys, we’re home.
Thunderweasel: Welcome back, Teri.
(Panel 6. The ladies drop what they were carrying, and all four of them embrace their respective lovers.)
Mercedes: So what’s new with you?
Deadpool: Oh, not much... just a routine assignment.
(Page 17, panel 1. A suitcase of money appears with a note attached to it.)
Deadpool: Ah, that would be the other half of my fee...
(Panel 2. Deadpool takes the suitcase, and the note. It reads: “Thank you for your service. You have done a good job. I will be recommending you to my friends.”)
Mercedes: Fee?
(Panel 3. Mercedes takes the suitcase, and opens it.)
Mercedes: My goodness...
(Panel 4. She looks the money over, setting it on the coffee table.)
Mercedes: I’ve never seen so much money before in my life...
Deadpool: It’s all ours, Mercedes. We’ve got enough to last us a good while now...
(Panel 5. Deadpool closes the suitcase.)
Deadpool: I’ll just put some of it in the bank...
Mercedes: I can’t believe you earn that much money...
Firelasher: It’s common in the mercenary business...
(Panel 6. Deadpool puts an arm around Mercedes.)
Deadpool: Relax, Mercedes... when I get back, we’re going to have us a party like we’ve never had before!
(Page 18, panel 1. The Mass. Academy. We see Adrienne arrive, angered. She is greeted by Emma. Adrienne’s limo can be seen in the background.)
Adrienne: You’ve got some nerve, Emma!!!
Emma: Well, to what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?
(Panel 2. Adrienne points a finger in Emma’s chest.)
Adrienne: I can’t believe you! Thanks to you I lost a crucial file that will cost me my business! All because you wouldn’t send the kids to help me out, even though I helped you out when you needed it!
(Panel 3. Enter Banshee as Emma defends herself.)
Emma: I’ve told you before, Generation X is not a group of mercenaries for your whims, Adrienne. If you wanted someone for hire, you should have sought the Paladin again.
(Panel 4. Adrienne bitch slaps Emma.)
Adrienne: You witch!!!
SFX: Slap!!
(Panel 5. Banshee grabs Adrienne’s arm, preventing her from striking Emma further.)
Banshee: (not amused) That’s enough, Adrienne. Around here, we teach the lads and lasses to use their powers to help others, not go off on some save my private interests binges.
(Page 19, panel 1. Adrienne faces Banshee, angered.)
Adrienne: Listen mister, because you and her wouldn’t give me help, Deadpool walked right into my offices, and stole a file that will ruin my business! And if I go down, Generation X will be sunk too!
Emma: Not so fast - the stock market is up again, and the X-Men are doing well financially. We don’t need your financial assistance anymore, and if we can buy you out, we would.
(Panel 2. Adrienne storms into the place. Banshee has no choice but to let her go.)
Adrienne: You haven’t heard the last of this.
(Panel 3. Banshee faces Emma.)
Emma: Let her work it off. She’s been known to have a little... angry streak in her.
Banshee: Any more angry and she would have torn yuir head off, Emma.
(Panel 4. Go over to see a man in the shadows, looking at everything.)
Cap (Man1): Well, things are going as planned, Adrienne.
Cap (Man2): It was mighty heartless of you to order my brother’s death, my dear ex-sister-in-law.
Cap (Man3): But don’t think I’ve forgotten you either, Emma and Cordelia.
(Panel 5. The man kicks back.)
Cap (Man1): I’ve got special plans for what you two did to us too.
Cap (Man2): One Frost sister down,
Cap (Man3) Two to go...
