Disclaimer: Gen X is the property of Marvel comics. The Evil Dead and Ash are the property of Sam Rami. I don't know who owns Barney but I wish the army of darkness upon them. Steven Spielberg owns the Animaniacs. No money is being made in any way (though offers for psychiatric counsellors are welcome).

Part Two - Open the Door, Get on the floor, Everybody torture, beat, burn, skin and kill the annoying purple s#!t!!

"OK! Let's try and keep calm..."

"SEAN! I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE KEEPING UP WITH CURRENT EVENTS BUT THERE'S A LOAD OF ZOMBIES THAT ARE ABOUT TO ATTACK AND BARNEY THE F^*&#?G DINOSAUR IS LEADING THEM! KEEPING CALM IS NOT AN OPTION!"

"Oh great. Now Miss Frost has gone apes**t. What else can go wrong?"

"You really want to know chica?"

While most of Generation X was going to hell in a hand basket for free, Jubilee had set about dealing with Jono's hand. Her rough tourniquet had stopped most of the bleeding and now Jono was angry.

"I want VENGEANCE! When I get my hands on those son's of bitches I'm going to send them back to hell with their brains in DOGGY BAGS and their balls in ORBIT! I'm going to do to them what I did to Omega Red - KICK THEIR F ^*&#?G A$$ ROYALLY!"

"OK Jono, Sheesh! Take a chill pill and relax for gods sake or you’ll be dead of a heart attack!" Said Jubilee.

"Oh like that matters luv!" Replied Chamber. Then came a tortured cry.

"NO! GOD NO! ARTIE! LEECH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Paige, gal!" Yelled Banshee, "What’s the matter lass?"

"Artie… Leech… Captured…."

"By the Deadites?" asked Ash.

"BY BARNEY!" bawled Paige.

As Generation X looked out to see the horrible sight, the Deadites all began singing the Barney theme song.

"Well little pals!" Said the purple spawn of Satan, "Let’s go see your friends! I’m sure we’ll all be able to be one big happy bunch!"

"Hurrah for Barney!" Cried Artie and Leech.

Just then a bullet flew past, missing Artie and decapitating a Deadite.

"ANGELO!" screamed Chamber, "What are you tryin’ ta do man?"

Angelo reloaded his gun and fired another few rounds.

"We can’t save them! We have to kill them now! It’s the only way!"

"Angelo! Stop this immediately!" Ordered Emma.

BONG!

"Jono. Was it really important to do that to Angelo?" Asked Monet.

As Jono lowered the now unconscious Skin to the floor and placed the large tray onto the couch, he chose that moment to use his right as an American citizen to "take the fifth". Meanwhile, Paige was still in a state of shock:

"We’re all gonna die! We’re all gonna die! Th..th..they’re gonna come in and eat us ALIVE and there isn’ a goddam thing ANYONE can do!"

"Paige. This has to stop. You must get a grip upon yourself." Ordered Emma.

"YOU DON’T GET IT DO YA, YA STUPID PEROXIDE B!^<#! WE’RE GONNA DIE! WE’RE GONNA DIE! WE’RE GONNA DIE! WE’RE GONNA…"

BOOM!

"OK! Run off home to Momma!" Yelled Ash, "Lay down and die if ya want! But me and Jubilee and Chamber are going out to kick some ass, get the book and take a bite out of Barney! If you want to come then do so. Whose with me?"

"Aye! I am." Said Banshee.

"Very well." Said Emma.

"I too." Said M.

"I…I..I…I’ll try." Said Husk.

"I’m – owmyheadhurts – there." Said Skin.

Penance waved her hand.

"I AM THE MINISTER OF GODS DIVINE WRATH! I AM THE AVENGER! THE BRINGER OF DEATH AND THE CHILD OF JUDGEMENT! NONE MAY STAND BEFORE ME AND LIVE! ONTO HELL MY FELLOWS! ONWARDS TO VICTORY OR DEATH! AND LET US TAKE A FEW HELLSPAWN WITH US BEFORE THE SUN SETS! YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

Everyone stared intently for a few seconds and then Ash said;

"We’ll take that as a "yes" shall we Everett?"

Five minutes later, the Delta 88 burst out of the academy with Ash in the driving seat, Jubilee riding shotgun, Chamber in the back and Everett and Penance clinging to the roof with Synch screaming challenges at the Deadites. Stuck to the bonnet of the Delta 88 was the severed head of a Barney doll.

(Though it would be rather crude to say that scrawled in its stuffing on the bonnet was the phrase: "If you think this is bad, you should see what we did to Hama!")

Following them were the rest of Generation X. With fierce cries and pounding feet they charged out to face the Deadites. Their faces set in grim determination, their fear disappearing like a chocolate gateaux in Eric Cartman's room, they fell upon their foe and proceeded to let loose all the aggression they could muster.

But those in the car only had eyes for Barney.

"Oh, look!" Cried Barney, "More friends come to play!"

"Stow it you Jurassic Park reject!" Yelled Ash as the Delta 88 skidded to a stop. Skidded being the appropriate word as Deadites make a lot of mess when hit by a car travelling at 40 mph. "We're here for the book. You have two choices. Die now or Die later. As in two seconds later!"

"You don't want to be friends? Oh, we can't have that!" Said the Violators illegitimate son. "I can't let you have the book as I'm going to use it to bring my friends in Hell to earth! But I can let you play with a friend of mine…"

With a twinkle of hell fire, another Hugasarus appeared.

"BABY BOP!!!!!!!!" Cried the horrified team.

As the foul, babbling fiend advanced, Everett screamed and charged her. The two fell into mortal combat. Penance rushed to aid her friend as Ash and Chamber held off the Deadites. Only Jubilee was left to face Barney.

"Well little girl.."

"Don't call me a f*****g little girl! Call me you're executioner 'coz I'm the last thing you're ever going to see! YAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRHHHH!"

With a cry of rage that would have sent Sabretooth running home to Momma, Jubilee charged her foe.

{In this writer's view, some people could be reading this chapter without having read the first part of the story (or you could just be totally confused). So here is a recap done to the tune of the Animaniacs theme song!}

It's time for pyromaniacs!
To burn Deadites to the max!
Jono must not relax
Or we'll all be zombie snacks!
Call pyromaniacs!

Come join Generation X
And some guy called Ash
Jubilee used the Necronomicon, there was a great big flash
Deadites running round, we really need some pot.
Cause Barney's here, so pass the beer.
Let's murderise the lot!
The pyromaniacs!

Our Jubilee has a great big axe
She got us in this mess
Teach'll flunk her in every test.
No nymphomaniacs! (But what else would rhyme? - Ed)

Emma Frost is screaming, something Banshee should really do.
Paige is really puking, while Jono looks really cool.
Everett's gone bananas, Baby Bop's here too
Ash just think this job stinks
And they don't know what to do!
Call pyromaniacs!

This wasn't in their new contracts
This is f*cked up to the max
Jono's inside Paige's slacks (He wishes! - Ed)
Call pyromainey
Messed up in the brainey
The writers insaney
Pyromaniacs!
Those are the facts.

(Warning! This is what attending a Catholic collage will do to you!)

Many thanks to Quincunx Master for helping me write this song. We now return you to the

insanity already in progress.

As the battle began, every member of Generation X cried orders to everyone else that couldn’t be heard over the combat. More Deadites were arriving every minute. Banshee, Husk and Skin held off the main group while Emma, whose psi powers were useless against the Deadites, fought hand to hand beside Banshee. But as more Deadites arrived, the four mutants began to tire. It looked like the end of Generation X.

"PENNY! SYNCH! HANG ON!" Cried Chamber as he and Ash carved their way through the horde to where Baby Bop was fighting the two young mutants. Penance was on the floor, her mind reeling from the onslaught of Baby Bops cuteness, her body wounded from the fists. The fiend had Synch pinned to the floor, its jaws poised to either rip out his throat of kiss him. Either was, Jono wasn’t going to wait. He let rip with all his might at Baby Bop. The force of the blast blew the fiend back off Synch but as it fell, it rolled and clambered to its feet. As Chamber stooped to see his friends’ condition, Baby Bop charged.

BANG!

The Hugasarus fell back as the shotgun shell tore through its body. As the monster turned to see its new foe, Ash reloaded.

"Yo! She-Bitch! Let’s go!" Came the immortal challenge.

In a fit of rage, Bop charged at Ash. This was a mistake as all Ash had to do was side step to the left, swing his chainsaw, and decapitate the foul beast. As it fell to the floor, Ash fired a shot through its head.

"Whose the man?" Cried Ash, as he began a celebration dance. Next moment he was knocked to his feet by Penance as Chamber blasted the Deadite behind him.

"Ok, OK," muttered Ash, "Everyone’s allowed one mistake aren’t they?"

Then he looked up and saw an awesome sight. Jubilee was locked in combat with Barney. As the others looked on, Ash asked:

"Could she win?"

All Chamber replied was, "If she doesn’t, we’re all doomed."

Jubilee was bleeding heavily from the bite to her arm. Her petit body was covered in bruises. But she couldn’t feel her pain through the rush of the fight. As she’d been taught, her energy blasts had focused on the face and chest. Barney however, looked unscathed. Moving as fast as lightening, he grabbed Jubilee and began to crush the life from her.

"Sorry I have to do this but you have been very bad to me. That makes me sad. You won’t stop my plans to make the world into one giant version of my T.V show!"

Jubilee was silent. This was a cause of panic for Synch and Chamber. But Ash could see the look on Jubilee’s face.

"What? No words of goodbye Jubilee?" Asked Barney, "Why don’t you say something?"

"I… Can’t. I… am… Concentrating." Said Jubilee with a smile.

When Barney felt the pain throughout his body, he realised what Jubilee was about to do. The last thing he heard was his own screams.

Jubilee had reached into Barney’s atomic structure, and used her powers to detonate his intestines. This caused Barney to explode. Jubilee was blown back as everything within a 20-ft radius was covered in bits of purple flesh and Dino blood. As she flew through the air, Jubilee let out a cry a victory. She crashed into the ground right in front of Artie and Leech who were holding the Necronomicon.

"JUBILEE!" Screamed Ash, "USE THE DISPEL INCANTATION!"

Sensing defeat nearing, the Deadites charged towards Jubilee. But seeing Barney die in a way that came straight out of Mortal Kombat had inspired Generation X. They tore into the Deadites as Jubilee cried the words out to the sky.

"Agarsis non camekil!
Nos pal estimal!
Dos largos dov vestikol!
Narl gon darl dal’la rah!"

With a mighty flash, the Deadites were vaporized. Generation X and Ash stood dumbfounded for a moment before celebrating with cheers and dances and shotguns fired into the air.

"Well I jus’ want ta thank ye for helpin’ us with those Deadites." Said Banshee as he helped load up the Delta 88 with the things Emma had bought as a thank you present.

"No problem. By the way, how is Synch?" Asked Ash.

"Oh, the sedatives are working perfectly. A few more sessions with Emma an’ he’ll be fine."

"I hope Emma didn’t come down too hard on Jubilee. I mean it wasn’t her fault that what happened did happen." Said Ash.

"Oh, she was fine. She only got bathroom duties for two months instead of ten years as Emma promised."

Ash chuckled. He looked around him at the campus. He breathed in the early morning air that was given a twist of a sent he knew very well.

"I love the smell of a burning Necronomicon in the morning." Thought Ash to himself as he drove off, happy that the Evil Dead were vanquished once and for all and that his new friends in Generation X were safe.

The End….