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THE TEN GENERATION X COMMANDMENTS written by Kairi "S. Sage" Taylor
The Ten Generation X Commandments
By Kairi Taylor
I drew inspiration from ‘The 10-chi Commandments” by Shinji The 10’o Clock
Assassin. I hope you enjoy this. Now let’s hurry up so I can get back to
playing Castlevania: Circle Of The Moon!
And lo & behold, the prophets Lobdell & Bachello came down from the
mountains of Marvel & held two stone tablets in their arms. Then they
passed down the commandments of the book of X:
1: Jubilee: Thou shall be energetic, sarcastic, childish, athletic &
constantly talk about Wolverine & the X-Men to greatly annoy your
teammates. Thou shalt also feud with Monet for Everett’s love.
2: Monet: Thou shalt be snotty, look down on others, have tremendous
powers, dress nicely & feud with Everett for his love.
3. Jonothon: Thou shall be brooding, extremely attractive to females, have
great mutant powers & play a kick ass guitar, as well as expel from this
land the demon Tristan.
4.: Paige: Thou shall husk thyself into any metal without destroying her
clothes, attempt to speak without thy father’s accent & be a example to
others. Thou shalt NOT however get a swelled head like certain X-Men
(*coughcyclopscough*) or date weasels.
5. Angelo: Thou shalt be a wiseacre, mysterious mutant who, despite popular
opinion, powers dopes not suck. Thou shalt also be a constant fall guy to the
being known as The Sage of Shadows.
6. Emma: Thou shalt be rather emotionless at times, shady & dress as if
you have obtained wardrobe from Victoria’s Secret.
7. Sean: Thou shalt be like a father to the students & be known
hereafter as “The sensible one”.
8. Ev: Thou shalt be somehow resurrected in fan fiction to correct the past
sins of the Marvel heathens. Just don’t expect me to do it, because I’ve
already said you were dead in my continuity!
9. Penance: Thou shalt be a great source of speculation & talk among
the righteous fans. Thou shall also have skin of great hurting, no speech &
a great desire for apples.
10. Emplate: Thou shalt be remorseless, all powerful & pure evil. Thou
shalt also get his ass kicked by Jubilee on occasion.
And so the prophets Lobdell & Bachello passed these laws among the
people. Fan fiction writers took these laws & wrote stories of their
heroes. And the prophets saw that it was good. Others would build WebPages or
collect pre-Hama comics. And it was also good. Marvel editors on the other hand
would not heed these laws & totally ruined the book. The prophets became
angry & gave them a reckoning that would be just. But the other prophet
rested, for he had many more chronicles to tell of-
The Global Journey of Penny
The Mansion Of Pocket Monsters
Jubilee’s Unholy Cooking, Book 2
The Legend Of Vash The Stampede
The Witch of Burkittsville
&
Dan Hibiki’s Battle With Joe Higashi
That’s all. Now excuse me, there’s a vampire that needs slaying…
