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Disclaimer: The characters within this scatterbrained little story ain't mine, ok? They are the sole copyrights of their respective companies, yadda yadda yadda...Oh yes, a man by the name of Rubien Diaz makes an appearance here, as I believe it's about time he got his. Well, time to get a groove on.... Tigrr walked into the game room of the fanfiction writers guild, somewhat impressed by the quickness of how the place was organized. Jubilee and Kairi built the place in a secluded area in a nearby forest at Snow Valley, so that the writers could relax, work & if be needed, plan out many types of revenge on certain writers and editors who reduced their favorite comics from great to really crappy. She smiled & watched with curiousity at the game taking place. Kairi & Quamp were in the middle of an OverPower Game, both sweating heavily as each card was laid on the table (In reality, the whole lot of us don't know jack about this game. I needed a card game as a introduction to the first problem in the story, so here it is.) Humber12 (H12) sat next to Ranma, in female form, keeping score. "What's going on?" Tigrr asked "Oh, we're trying to settle an arguement here." Ranma replied As Quamp laid down his next card, Kairi held his hand to his head & said "Damn, you've won!" Quamp sighed heavily & said "Well, that should end our arguement." Tigrr shurgged her shoulders & asked "Just what were they trying to settle anyway?" "We're trying to decide who has to talk to Jubilee first," H12 explained. "She's locked herself in the storage room & she's stayed in there ever since." Ranma nodded her head & replied "She's whacked everybody else who went inside so it's just us now." "Wow, so she still hasn't gotten over Everret, huh?" Tigrr said. "Yeah, we thougt she was taking it well," Quamp said. "That is, until a certain someone had to ask one question too many..." "Hey, all I know is that I asked her where Ev was, & the next thing I know, I was running for my life!" Kairi said. "I just feel bad for the janitor, though. She threw the mini radio at him." "Yeah, I saw him laying face down in the infirmary," Tigrr said. "She hit him in the back or something?" The others grimaced as Quamp said "Er, not exactly. Did the proctoligist get here by the way?" "C'mon, let's get this over with." Kairi sighed as he got up to go. Ranma nooded, saying "Better go with him before she eats the rest of my ramen." Tigrr shruggged and said "At least she's got her appetite." "She ate it raw." Ranma answered. "Not to mention half of my 12 cartons of Cherry Garcia!!" Tigrr smiled & replied "Well, I'll go along too. What about you guys?" "Nah, we'll stay here," H12 said. "I somehow feel a lot safer when Kairi does this sorta thing." "That's usually because I'm the one getting hurt." When they arrived at the storeroom door, all was seemingly quiet for the moment. Kairi turned to look at Tigrr & Ranma, who were waving from behind an upturned table, giving the ok signal. Gulping and crossing himself, despite the fact that he was not a member of the catholic chruch, Kairi knocked on the door and said "Uh Jubilee, it's me Kai-" "Go away!!!" Jubilee's voice boomed as something hard struck the door. Kairi, undaunted by the current dilema, continued. "I know that you are still mad about Ev & stuff, but you gotta lighten up. I mean-" The door swung wildly open as Jubilee came out yelling "I SAID GO AWAY!!!!" & let loose a full barrage of her paffs (Author's note: paffs? PAFFS?!?!) right into Kairi's face. When she finally stopped, she said "Aw, geez, Kairi, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that!" "Kairi, you ok?" Tigrr said as she waved the smoke rising from his hat away. "Nah, he's fine," Ranma said "Yesterday Kitty Pryde kicked him in the ribs & he ate some of Akane's cookies." "Whoa, can't believe he's still walking." "Yeah, those boots had steel toes in them." "Actually, I was referring to Akane's cooking." "So, can we talk now?" Kairi said as he leaned against the wall. Jubilee nodded & said "I dunno, like it's all so confusing. I mean, I thought that Gaia really wasn't intrested in him, but now, they totally hang out together & it seems like he has no time for me anymore, ya know?" Ranma nodded as Tigrr said "C'mon, cheer up, it could be worst." "How so?" "You could end up like Kairi." "Hey!!" Kairi said. "I'm perfectly happy just the way I am." "Oh, so you're comfortable with the fact that you've never dated since you hit puberty?" "I'm very comfortable being single," Kairi explained. "I mean, it's not my fault that I've been turned down by every single girl i asked out...ever...for the past 8 years of my life." Kairi turned & started to pound his head on the wall, saying "Dear God, I've become my dad!!!" "I see what you mean now," Jubilee said. "Well I'll be fine now. You guys wanna see a movie? I'm bored." "Yeah, let's do that." Ranma said "Oh, Kairi, Washu said to meet her at the academy." Kairi nodded & said "Ok, just as well, she ate all of my ice cream." "What can I say, I like Ben & Jerry's!" Emplate stood in the center of the lobby facing off with the rest of the team, looking around as he saw that the current roster of Acolytes were taken out. Angelo, Ev, Gaia Paige & Monet stood ready to fight as D.O.A. ran to his boss & said "I don't think the boys will be any use right now boss!!" Emplate stood, still talking to himself. {M-Plate? Was that man daft? Of all the indignites I suffered, that was the lowest I was put through...} "Uh, boss..." {Why couldn't that kid put me in the story with the others? I'm vengeful enough. I've got a beef with him too...} "BOSS!!!" {Hmm?! Oh, right. Now, dear sister, I shall now forever erase you & your friends from my life!} "You have always been such an optimist, Marius," Monet replied. "We've done this many times before, you know who shall win." A high blast of energy landed at Paige's feet as Emplate said {Perhaps I shuld have told you that I've sucked the marrow of a particularly strong mutant beforehand. Oops.} "This is not good!" Ev said as Emplate started to fill the room with blasts of energy. As everone ducked into the next room, Gaia said "Ok, like if anyone has a plan, now would be the best time to use it!" "I say we run, but that's me." Angelo said. "Well, it's nothing to worry about." Monet said. "All we need is a good strategy, now let's see..." "Hello there." Ev & Paige turned to see Washu standing behind them with Hideo strapped to her back. "Huh, what are you doing here?" Paige asked. "Ms. Frost & I need to discuss a few arrangements." Washu replied. "I could have Paige husk into a reflective metal while I use an extra powerful psi blast..." "Well, she left with Mr. Cassidy to go to the gynecologist a while ago. But, we're in a big problem right now." "Or I could have Gaia come up from behind & synch with Ev while Angelo & I distract him..." "Oh yes, the guy in the front. I'll take care of it." Washu handed Hideo to Angelo and whipped out a large, shoulder mounted laser rifle (Author's note: Assume that it's specially modified to handle beings like him. Then again, has anyone even THOUGHT of using a large laser on him....) She walked out & immediatley aimed & fired a huge blast at Emplate. Emplate was sent crashing into the wall next to the front door as Monet said "Hmm, simple but effective." The rest of the team walked into the lobby as Washu said "You know, I can redesign the whole security system for you." "Holy !@#$, she just fried the boss!!!" one of the acolytes said as he ran for his life. "She's right. Thanks to Marvel, lately any gringo with a rifle & a chip on their shoulder can just waltz in here!" "Cripes, she squished him like a bug!" D.O.A. yelled. Emplate started to move his head as he said {Damn you!!! I'm going to suck th-} The door swung open, hard, in Emplate's face, As Tigrr, Jubilee, Ranma & Kairi, who had a huge mallet, walked in. "Whoa, looks like WWII in here." Tigrr said. "I take it a major villian was here." "Yes, quite a brief battle." Monet said. "What's with the huge mallet?" Kairi held it up & said "This? Akane gave it to me on the way over. Look at what this baby can do!!" Kairi then proceded to slam the mallet into the door with repeated, hard, violent swings, not knowing that Emplate was behind it. When he finally stopped, Emplate crawled out & said {Anyone got an Advil?!?} Upon seeing Gaia & Everett together, Jubilee quickly said "Well, um, we're here. C'mon, let's go to the movies!" As she quickly grabbed Ranma's arm & dragged her out the front door, Angelo shook his head & said "Man, chica's been acting weird the whole week." Tigrr nodded as Kairi said "It's a long story, but now ain't the time. So, what's up Washu?" "I'm gonna need your help in the lab today," Washu explained as she handed their son to him "I've just finished work on a new space-" "Um, hello!?" D.O.A. started, crossing his arms, looking up at them. "There's a little matter of you two blastin' my boss an' whacking him with an oversized croquet mallet!" Monet walked over & asked "Shall I?" "If you insist." Kairi said. BOOM!!!CRASH!!! Paige & Gaia looked up at the huge hole in the ceiling & whistled. "Wow, good distance." Paige said "Well, it helps if you put a little strength in the kick." Tigrr smiled & said "Well, I guess I'll hang out with you guys for a while. I'll have to hold off on that movie." "I'll go get Jubilee." Ev said. As he went for the door, Kairi grabbed his shoulder & said "Sorry dude, but I'd pass on that notion." Ev, shaking his head, was about to ask why when Tigrr said "Trust him on this." As Washu & Kairi left, Washu said "I see that Jubilee has something for him after all." Kairi nodded & replied "Maybe we should talk to her after we get finished in the lab. Washu closed her eyes for a minute & said "I got an idea." "Somehow you always do." "Ah, my aching back!" D.O.A. moaned as he & Emplate walked through an back alley in Manhattan. Emplate slowly followed behind, muttering {You know, for a 20,000 year old being in a 12 year old body, she seems very capable of carrying around both a child & a shoulder monted laser.} D.O.A. shrugged & replied "Hey, I wanna know where that Akane girl keeps all her mallets, but I'd rather not know!!" {Well, at least we were in this story!} Emplate said. {But I wish it was a bigger role.} "Then perhaps I can be of some assistance!" Rubien Diaz stepped out of the shadows, a leather pouch dangling carelessly in his hands "I see that one of Kairi's little friends gave you a run for the money." Rubien said. "What's it to you?" D.O.A. quipped, but Emplate grunted & said {You have an offer for us? Think carefully what you say, since most of us hold you responsible for Hama's little escapades!} "Relax, I'm here to help you." Diaz said. "Thanks to all of them, I'm a virtual target for every hero, sidekick, fanfic writer & anime hero piloting a Mech! (Author's note: I refer to Mechs such as those found in Macross{Robotech}, Gundam, Neon Genesis & Policenauts, not the Power Rangers!! eccch!!) But with this little relic, I believe we both shall be happy with the end results" "How shall we use this?" asked D.O.A. as Emplate was given the pouch. "Oh, don't worry about it, you won't be using this for the next few scenes in here." "The Lina Inverse Beginner's Guide to Sorcery." Jubilee said as she looked through the book that was in Washu' lab. "What made you wanna read something like this?" Kairi gave Hideo his little crab doll & said "Cause it's something intresting to read about. I need a hobby other than writing." "It's also for people who are short tempered & very sensitive about their physical features." Ranma replied "Do me a favor & turn back into a guy soon so that I can clobber you!!" Kairi said. "Now, now, let's not kill each other in my lab." Washu said as she turned away from the terminal she was at. "Tha's what Tenchi's house is for." Snapping her fingers, a large cylinder shaped transpoter came from out of nowhere. "Now Kairi, I've built this new transporter system using some of the same scematics from the dimensional cannon. My new space station can now freely travel between dimensions at your choosing." "How does it work?" Ranma asked. "Simple, first Kairi steps into the transporter." Kairi, looking scared to try just about anything right now, carefully stepped into the transporter & watched as the glass door closed behind him. "Now, all I have to do is set the coordinates together &..." Washu turned to the keyboard & typed in a few commands. Seconds later, Kairi found himself in the main bridge of a huge space station that overlooked the Earth of one of the dimensions he tended to visit. "Hey, where am I?" Kairi asked. A monitor lowered to his side as Washu's face appeared & said "Well, right now you are over the Earth in Cloud's dimension. There should be a small control panel that you can use to control everything." As Kairi looked at the small radar that had begun to blink, Ranma's face appeared & said "Hey, see any comets up there?!!" Kairi shook his head. "Nah, just some bleeping on the radar." "Kairi, quick call up the telescope option." Washu said. Kairi pulled a switch & a huge monitor came up & flicked on. On the screen was a huge, green meteor. "The good news is that your getting a glimpse of the Strago Comet, the hugest comet in Cloud's dimension. It's rumored that whenever it passes by, it's a sign of intresting things to come about. It's even said to have the very power to bring life about." "Hey, that's cool." Kairi replied. "Uh, Kairi..." Jubilee's face appeared on the monitor as she said "Is their anything cool about a meteor the size of Galactus' butt coming down to destroy a planet? I guess this ain't a good time to tell ya you're in the direct path." Blinking, Kairi looked at the huge moitor, at the communications monitor, than back at the monitor and screamed "WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THAT BIG ASS ROCK'S GONNA CRASH INTO ME?!!!" "Knew he'd panic" Ranma mumbled as Washu said "Don't worry about a thing, I've got everything planned for just such an emergency. Now on the control panel, there's a red lever. Pull it up." Kairi, working quickly to save his life pulled the red lever as fast as he could. The room lit red as A computerized voice said "ALERT! NOW PREPARING MINI DIMENSONAL CANNON! ALL PERSONAL EVACUATE BASE IMMEDIATLEY!" Kairi shook his head as a bright purple light formed outside of the station. "Washu, I believe I would like to return now!!" Kairi said a a bright beam began to go out into the vast darkness of space. "Well, he should be back any second." Washu said as the beam obliterrated the huge space rock. "Another day, another planet rescued." Kairi appeared in the transporter, but the door wouldn't open. "Hey, what gives? I'd like to get out now." "Relax, I'll get you out." Jubilee said. As she got up, she noticed that the monitor was all black and red words began to fill the screen. "Um, Washu, what does that mean?" Washu turned and read what was on the monitor. "Alert, Dimensional Circuts Overload, now reading emergency test data...uh oh." "What do you mean uh-oh?" Kairi asked. Almost instantly, a surge of energy ripped through Kairi, giving him a tremendous shock as the lab began to shake. After a few moments, it subsided & the transporter opened. Kairi staggered out & Jubilee asked "Um, what just happened here?" "I think I know." Washu said as she picked up Hideo. "C'mon, let's go back to the house." The group walked out of the lab & saw that the house was rather in a shambles. Books & sheets were all over the floor. "Either there was a earthquake, or Ryoko & Ayeka's at it again." Jubilee said. "I'm betting on the second one." "Everything's quiet." said Ranma as she carefully stepped over a pile of books. Then, as Kairi looked up, out of nowhere Yuffie fell from the ceiling & into Kairi's arms. Upon seeing Kairi, she smiled & said "Hah! Now I now you like me!!!" Kairi began to blush profusley as Jubilee asked "Yuffie? Where'd you come from?" "It's strange. One minute, I'm hanging on a rope in this materia cave & the next minute..." she squeezed Kairi as she said "Well, what do I care look at where I'm at!" Kairi looked rather pale as Sasami rushed in & said "Guys, come out & look!!" Every body walked out & gasped. A huge airship was flying over the Masaki residence, & on the shore of the lake, Captain America & Anita, very bewildered, looked all about them. Nearby, a chocobo raced around with Ryo-Oh-ki and a Mew on it's back. "Oh man, I can't believe it!!" Kairi said. "Yeah, something totally weird is happening!" Jubilee replied. "Nah, i was referring to that Mew!!" Kairi said "I've been looking for that one for 2 months!" "Can someone please explain what's going on here?" Captain America asked. "Well, it's kinda hard to explain..." Ranma said. "That is, if we knew the exact details." "Uh, Kairi," Anita asked. "Why are you holding Yuffie?" Kairi looked at Yuffie again & turned more red as Anita asked "It's probably something I don't wanna know about, right?" "A interdimensional WHAT?" asked Sean as he sat at the conference table with Quamp & H12 drinking coffee. "From what Washu told the U.N., it's a interdimensional merge." Quamp explained. "When that meteor was destroyed, it released al of it's stored up energy from within. When Kairi was teleported, the energy ripped through the rift in space & overloaded the machine." "The machine thought that Kairi was back up data & used the data of what dimensions Kairi has most recently visited." H12 continued. "But it also had received an enormous amount of energy & used it up in the process & now..." "I got it, lass," Sean sighed. "5 Earths in one." Quamp nodded, saying "Well, this should be some interesting tale to tell to your little daughter someday." "I still don't buy this idea of a arranged marriage." Sean said. "How can Washu calculate that me future daughter n' her son will fall in love?" H12 shrugged & said "Hey, it's Washu we're talking about here, she probably knows more about it than we think." Quamp got up to go to the microwave & said "By the way, did Washu say how long it would take to repair what happened to the rifts?" "Yeah, about 10,000 years." H12 said. "Give or take a few hundred. By the way, where's Emma?" "She got the others to set up blind dates fer Kairi & Jubilee." Sean answered. "She's figurin' that since Jubilee is so depressed & Kairi has no life whatsoever, they need tae go an' have some fun." "Really, who are they gonna go with." "ME?" Ukyo asked as she sat at the table of her restaurant with Ranma & Angelo. "Why do you wanna set me up with him?" Ranma put his food down & said "Cause I don't wanna see you so miserable after the wedding, Ok? I mean, that whole Konatsu thing just didn't work out & then there's you & Ryoga..." "We never went out." Ukyo replied "That's just a rumor that someone's been spreading." "C'mon, it'll be fun," Angelo said. "Kairi's somewhat of a nice guy, that is if he doesn't faint if you hold hands..." "Thank you, Angelo." Ukyo said. "Or start kissing..." "OK, I get it." "Or slip him the tounge..." SPLASH! Angelo, now in raccoon form, shook off the water from his fur as Ukyo said "Alright, since you asked nicely Ranma, I'll do it. You better just send me a nice souvenier when you're on vacation." "Have I ever let you down?" Ranma asked. "Where do you want me to start?" "Huh? Jubilee?" Ryoga asked as Akane & Monet walked through the hallways of the academy. "But why me?" "I think it's time you try to go on a date with a nice girl for a change." Akane said. "Unfortunatley, there were none available, so we'll have to settle for Jubilee." Monet added. Ryoga, doubtful, not to mention the fact that he still had feelings for Akane, said "Where do I take her?" "I would say someplace where it's guaranteed she'll never return, but that's my suggestion." Monet said. "But instead, try a nice movie instead." "Ok, I'll pick her up tonight." Ryoga said. Both Akane & Monet shook their heads, saying "No, stay here, it'll take you another 2 days to get back here!" "Geez, I'd thought they never get back to us!" D.O.A. said as he & Emplate stood in the middle of a paved row in Central Park. {It's called building plot, you should get used to it.} Emplate answered as he opened the pouch & took out a large, green amulet. As a bright light swerlled around him, Emplate said {Soon, that universal merger will be nothing compared to what I shall do! Heh heh heh.} "Oh great, typical villianous laughter!" D.O.A. said. "How predictable!" (You've got a problem with my storytelling?) "A problem? You merge our universes, which is SO passe, you get Emplate magical powers & you have Jubilee going on a blind date with Ryoga, RYOGA, of all people, which all winds down to a typical super hero showdown with the boss? Can't you do something more fun than this? DO SOMETHING SPONTENANEOUS YOU REJECT FROM THERAPY!!!" (OK, you asked for it.) BOOM!!CRACKLE!!FIZZ!! {Oh my god, you killed off D.O.A.!!! Sweet!!} (Now, where were we...?) Ukyo sat at the table in the small cafe that she & Kairi were at, quietly watching as Kairi, who was still pretty nervous, ate a burger. "You've been like that all night." she said "Like what" "Really nervous. You've become as red as a beet." "I'm not used to being on a date. I'm so used to being rejected & stuff. Besides, I thought you were going out with-" "Don't go there." Ukyo interrupted. "It's like saying you & Yuffie are a couple." "Well, you have to admit, she is very affectionate." Ukyo said. "I guess it would be nice for me to start thinking about other guys as well." Ukyo sighed & said "Ranma's right, I shouldn't be so miserable." "I've spent the bulk of my junior high life being miserable." Kairi said. "Hey, did I tell you about this little incident a while back in the city?" "No, what happened?" Ukyo asked. "Well, Angelo had this idea of selling..." Jubilee felt good watching the movie as she looked at Ryoga. He seemed Ok right now depite the fact that he was a bundle of nerves when he was at the academy. Of course, the date would probably be more fun if Angelo didn't tag along. "Funny, isn't it?" Jubilee asked. Ryoga, somewhat absentminded as he looked at the screen, said "Huh?" "I said it's funny." "The movie, yeah, I guess so." "Nah, I mean what i was thinking about. I thought I'd be real grumpy with Ev not being here an' all, but I feel so much better now." She sighed & non chalantly put her hands on Ryoga's. Ryoga quickly turned a even brighter shade of red than Kairi's & said "Um, I uh, just remembered I,um,need popcorn. I'll be back. C'mon Angelo!" Ryoga & Angelo quietly left the seats & ran to up the aisles. "Hombre, next time you take someone to the movies, bring a map with you." Angelo said as they walked to the food counter. "Hey, it was Monet who said I'd take 5 hours to get back to the movie theater." Ryoga replied. "I just hope I've got enough for food." Angelo looked outside at the windows & said "Hey, something's going on outside." "What is it?" Ryoga asked. "There's a whole lot of people running." Angelo said. "Now a car just got tossed past us. Oh, it's only Emplate with super stong powers." As Angelo turned away from the window, he raised an eyebrow. "What did I just say I saw?" "If I tell you, will it mean we'll have to go out & stop him?" "Yeah." "You saw Emplate." "Oh, crap." "So, I pick up Angelo in one arm, the contraband keychains in the other & jumped out from the truck onto a chocobo." Kairi finished as Ukyo was still laughing from his tale. "I think it's safe to say we're out of the sales business in Niblheim." "How come you don't tell any of those stories?" Ukyo asked. "It's just so many things to remember." Kairi replied. As he drank his Surge (Author's note: SUUURRRRRRGGGGGEEEEEE!) Jubilee, Angelo & Ruyoga ran into the diner, panting. "You guys, come quick! It's a big crisis!!" Ryoga said. "Lemme guess, Shampoo found out Angelo was peeping at girls in his raccoon form & now she swore to beat him up." Kairi replied. "So, it was you!!" Ukyo said as she took out her giant spatula & whacked him senseless. "Uh, actually, i was gonna say that Emplate was going on a rampage in the city." Jubilee said. "Emplate?" Where's the others at?" Kairi asked. "They're at the Avenger's HQ on the West Coast. They ain't coming back for at least an hour." Kairi sighed & pulled out the spellbook & a staff. "Ok, I guess we should do something." The streets were totally decimated at furniture & cars were being upheaved in Times Square. Emplate stood in the middle of the street as the group faced him. "Give me a minute to set it up & we'll have no troble with him." Kairi said. As Kairi walked toward Emplate, taking the staff with him, Jubilee said "Ok, Emplate, wanna clarify why you just took out the Disney Store?" {Ah, is this all the competion that's here?} Emplate said. {I have so much power to use & all that opposses me is two mutants, a ronin, a oknomiyaki chef & a fanfic writer who's making a circle around me...Wait just a second. What ARE you doing?} "Who, me?" Kairi said as he finished making the final markings in the ground. "Nothing really." {You're not making a magical circle which would soon erupt from the ground & fry me a golden brown are you?} "Do I look like the sorta person who would do that?" {Well now that you men-ARRGHHH} A huge blast of magical fire erupted from the ground as Emplate was sent flying into the sky. "OK, that's done." Jubilee said."I guess we can..." {NOT SO FAST!!!} Emplate landed on his feet & said {This tale isn't named after me for nothing. Let me show the best little secret of the amulet!!} Emplate raised his arm as he began to grow. And grow. "This is probably the most intresting date I've been on yet." Ukyo said as they began to run. The reporter stood at the pier, back away from the city as he said "So, once again after years of being rocked by meteors, spaceships, tidal waves, ghosts & giant monsters, New York has managed to rebuild itself once agai-" Emplate suddenly came out of nowhere as he ripped the roof of a warehouse, yelling {Now, witness my wrath!!!} "Ah, @#$-dammit, not again!!" Quamp & H12 sat in the computer room, typing when the phone rang. H12 answered & said "Hello, guild member Humber12 speaking." "Humber, it's Jubilee, we've got an emergency!" "What, Larry Hama's writing Gen X again?" "No, it's Emplate, he's huge!! He's destroyed half of Manhattan!" "Wait a sec Jubilee, I just got a note. Huh? It says end of first half." "Huh?"
