(Front cover. We see the members of Generation X in action completely
botched up. Banshee is a blind Hispanic man, Chamber is a short, overweight
WASP woman, Husk is a redheaded man with crossed green eyes, Jubilee is a
very tall (over 6 feet) man who is invisible. M is an old White male who
needs a walker to get around, Penance, a tall brunette, is using her sonic
powers. Skin is a cross-eyed white male who is psi-blasting someone off
panel, Synch is a white female with long, blonde hair, and the White Queen
is, well, you don't want to know.)
Cap (N): The Demise of Generation X!
(Inside front cover. We see the following:)
Ah, who cares about continuity?
(Page 1, panel 1. Generation X headquarters, Snow Valley, Mass. We see the
team as described on the cover sitting around the front porch.)
Jubilee: 'Ere! Something's wrong with us, mate!
Chamber: Why, what doest thou meanest, Jubes?
(Panel 2. Jubilee faces the others.)
Jubilee: We've gone all funny-like, mate. Oy've suddenly turned into an
Australian Aborigine 'oo's invisible.
(Panel 3. Emplate flies in. He is a tall, handsome Gentleman of Russian
extraction.)
Emplate: Das Vidanya, comrades! It is time for you to die!!
Queen: Emplate!
(Panel 4. Emplate turns into a gas, and surrounds Generation X.)
Emplate: Say goodnight, comrades!
Jubilee: 'Ere! This can't be right! Are you sure that's Emplate?
Queen: I'd know my fourth cousin once removed if I saw him.
(Page 2, panel 1. Emplate kicks Jubilee, while still being a gaseous
being.)
SFX: WHOCK!!
Jubilee: UHN!
(Panel 2. Enter Bianca LaNiege, who looks like a miscolored Santa Claus.)
Bianca: Save some of them for me, Emplate!
Synch: Bianca LaNiege!
Jubilee: Is this writer on drugs or something?
(Panel 3. Jubilee stops everything.)
Jubilee: STOP THIS MACARONI NOW, MATES!!
(Panel 4. Jubilee looks over everything.)
Jubilee: What in the world is going on 'ere? 'Ow did I become a Jackaroo
from New South Wales? None of us are right, or even have the
right powers!
(Page 3, panel 1. Enter Psylocke, who is now a California bleach blonde
bimbo type.)
Psylocke: *Giggle* Oh come on, Jubes, you're like totally taking this
majorly too hard.
Jubilee: No Oy'm not, mate! They turned you into me with bleach blonde
'air! Our 'eadmistress is a cross between a yak, an armadillo
and an aardvark! Synch was put into Husk's body, and given 4
extra feet of hair!
(Panel 2. Jubilee flies into the air.)
Jubilee: I'm going to Marvel and finding out who is responsible for this!
(Panel 3. Jubilee falls to the ground.)
Voice (from off panel): That would be me.
(Panel 4. We turn to see Larry Hama there.)
Hama: Yes, it is me, the comic book series X-Terminator!! And I'll ruin
Generation X just like I did Elektra!
(Page 4, panel 1. Jubilee faces Hama.)
Jubilee: Blimey! It's you!
Hama: That's right, when a comic book needs to be sunk, I'll be there!
Generation X was selling too well, and Marvel needed me to come in
and wreck it so they can go into Chaper 7 bankruptcy!
(Panel 2. Jubilee is aghast.)
Jubilee: You Dingo! Generation X is moi 'ome! Nobody deserves to be done
in like this.
M (Weakly): I . . . agree . . .
(Panel 3. Hama takes out a scythe and cuts M in two.)
SFX: SLICE!
Hama: Shut up, old woman! you're not fit to be heard from anymore!
Penance: Wait a minute! Don't do that to my boyfriend's friend!
(Panel 4. Everyone is aghast.)
Psylocke: Ohmigawd! You like totally killed Carrie! You b@$+@r&!
Hama: Shut up or I'll kill you too and then resurrect you as an Argentinian
brothel owner's son!
(Page 5, panel 1. Jubilee faces the audience.)
Jubilee: This is insane! We need someone to help us out!
(Panel 2. Hama smiles sinisterly.)
Hama: Nobody can help you, Jubilee . . . now get back to the fighting!
(Panel 3, 4, and 5. Reenter M, who walks very slowly.)
Jubilee (panel 5): Say, weren't you killed on the previous page?
(Page 6, panel 1. Hama folds his arms across his chest.)
Hama: This is the Marvel Universe. Characters die only to be resurrected
again a few pages later.
(Panel 2. Husk advances.)
Husk: This is a very very revolting development.
Jubilee: Look at that. You have Husk a Hindu accent!
(Panel 3. Synch approaches Jubilee.)
Synch: Leesteen gringo, I do not like haveeng thees acceent eetheer.
Jubilee: Blimey! Is there anyone you didn't give an accent to?
(Panel 4. Penance approaches Jubilee.)
Penance: Me.
Jubilee: Mate, you're not supposed to speak at all!
Hama: My word is king here.
Voice (from off panel): Stop right there!
(Panel 5. They turn to see the legion of Generation X fans, lead by Aaron
Reiser, and including Dark Claw, FlameWrait, Tigrr,
and me (Quamp.) We are all dressed in spandex like superheroes.)
Riser: Your reign of terror is over, Hama!
Hama: Never! The editor said I was to be writer of Generation X "for a
long time to come."*
Cap (N): * He does not lie either.
(Page 7, panel 1. The legion of Generation X fans advance on Hama.)
Quamp: You're destroying Generation X, just like you did Elektra. Look at
them! You couldn't tell they were Generation X without being told
that.
Hama: I do as I am told.
(Panel 2. Quamp pulls out a picture.)
Quamp: Well, I know your biggest embarrassment, Hama . . . Obnoxio the
clown!! And here he is now!
(Panel 3. Enter Obnoxio the Clown, riding a unicycle and juggling balls.)
Obnoxio: Yer fadda's moustache!
Tigrr: Uh, You're kidding, right Quamp?
Quamp: Nope, Hama created this bum.
(Panel 4. Obnoxio throws one of the balls at Hama.)
Obnoxio: Think fast, creator boy!
Hama: Wait a minute - don't do that!
(Panel 5. The ball explodes as it reaches Hama.)
SFX: BOOM!
(Page 8, panel 1. Quamp then holds up a copy of the Handbook to the Marvel
Universe Master Edition entry on Jubilee.)
Dark Claw: We're just getting started, Hama.
Quamp: Take a copy of the Official Handbook to the Marvel Universe.
Hama: No! Get that thing away from me!
(Panel 2. Dark Claw throws a very long petition at Hama.)
Dark Claw: Here's a petition to get you removed from Generation X.
Hama: WHUFF!
(Panel 3. Hama runs.)
Hama: I'll be back, count on it!
(Panel 4. Jubilee is elated.)
Jubilee: That's great, mate. But what about us?
(Panel 5. Tigrr steps forward.)
Tigrr: All I need to is do a little typing, and -
(Page 9, panel 1. Generation X is restored to normal.)
Jubilee: Major coolness.
Dark Claw: And we've fixed some major discrepancies that have been going
on.
Quamp: Notice Jubilee has her old blue eyes back, just like the Handbook
says she has.
(Panel 2. Tigrr smiles.)
Tigrr: And this whole convoluted M/Penance thing never happened. In fact
the two of them aren't related!
M: Great, that plotline left me confused, and I was in it!
(Panel 3. Dark Claw turns.)
Dark Claw: Well, we've got to get back to reality. Keep the faith, true
believers!
(Panel 4. Exit most of the fans, except for Quamp.)
Quamp (1): And if anyone else out there would like to have a date.
Queen: Don't call me and I won't call you.
Quamp (2): Man, this really stinks.
(Panel 5. Enter Tigrr.)
Tigrr: Quamp, you're late with those X-Force goofs. Get on the stick!
Quamp (Turns): Oh, all right. ++:(
(Page 10, panel 1. exit Quamp and Tigrr.)
Quamp: Oh, time for a party by the pool, gang.
(Panel 2. We see the members of Generation X by their swimming pool. The
women are in bikinis, and the men are in swimtrunks.)
Cap (N): A little later . . .
Jubilee: This like so totally cool, o.k.? Like, all that Hama dude had us
do was go around getting hurt and stuff, and like we really needed
a break from that.
Voice (From off panel): I agree, mi amor.
(Panel 3. They turn to see Moria MacTaggert, Sonnos, and El Aguila there.
They too are in swimwear.)
Aguila: You look muy tense, mi amor. Let me give you a massage.
Queen (Smiles): Alejandro . . .
Jubilee: Esteban!
(Panel 4. Sonnos and Jubilee embrace.)
Jubilee: Oh, I've like totally missed you so much!
Sonnos: I have missed you as well, mi amor.
(Panel 5. We see the members of Generation X relaxing and enjoying
themselves.)
Jubilee: I like have so much to tell you . . .
(Page 11, full panel page. We see editor Ruben Diaz watching the scene on
a viewscreen.)
Diaz: Well, they may have been able to defeat my flunky Hama . . . but
they will find me impossible to break!
Cap (N): To be continued??
