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WOLVIE. JR. II written by Aqua's Shadow
Wolvie Jr. II by Aqua's Shadow Disclaimer: You know the drill. I own no one but Wolvie, Jr. and some unfamiliar characters, of course. I don't own Sheryl Crow's song "All I Wanna Do". She does. Summary: Springtime, and you know what that means! Wolvie's in heat! All I wanna do is have some fun I got a feeling I'm not the only one All I wanna do is have some fun I got a feeling I'm not the only one Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard "All I Wanna Do" - Sheryl Crow Jubilee and Wolvie, Jr. came back from GenerationX early in the Spring to spend time at the mansion. Springtime had come to the X-Mansion. And with the spring had come many baby birds, baby lambs, baby puppies, and little kittens. Only one animal was being left out. And that was Wolvie, JR. ‘RRRROOOOWWWW!!!!’ ‘No!’ Jubilee scolded. ‘You are ~not~ going out there to get some little kitty pregnant! What will we do with all the kittens’!’ Wolvie, JR. looked up at her with two large green eyes. Jubilee stared back and her heart melted as she gazed into the lopsided eyes of her cat. ‘You know I’m not doing this just to be mean.’ ‘ . . . Merrrrr-ow?’ ‘I swear!’ ‘Uhm, Jubilee?’ Jean said. ‘Would you come here a minute’ The rest of us have something we would like to discuss with you. It concerns Wolvie.’ ‘Can it wait?’ Jubilee asked. ‘Wolvie and I are having a little talk.’ ‘Now.’ ‘Okay, okay.’ Jubilee walked after Jean, tripped over Wolvie, accidentally kicking him, then apologized profusely to the yowling cat. ‘I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry.’ She lifted the cat off the ground. ‘Wow. You’ve gained some weight!’ ‘Re-OW!’ ‘I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry!’ She kissed the tip of it’s wet little nose, then spit. ‘P-TA! PTH! PTH! PTH!’ *~Purrrr~* ‘Jubilee.’ ‘Com-ing!’ she sang and ran after Jean, holding Wolvie. She entered the War Room after Jean and found everyone seated around the table. For some reason, Bobby had a paddle-ball. Wolverine (mutant, not mutated cat) reached over and snipped the string with one of his claws. Upon seeing the claws, Wolvie, JR. latched onto Jubilee’s arms and yowled loudly, causing Jubilee to scream out in pain. Ororo began to pry the cat out of her arm as Jubilee whimpered. She brushed away some fur off the her arm and the many scratches from previous cat-attacks. Once Ororo had the cat, she held it at arm’s length with one hand and Jean took it from her via telekinetic energy and held it in mid-air, the cat writhing in place and growling. ‘Okay,’ Jean said, wiping a wisp of red hair out of her face. ‘We need to tell you about . . . well, since this is springtime . . . and Wolvie has been acting rather strangely lately, we need to tell you about something . . . Scott?’ ‘Oh! Uhmmm . . . ‘ Scott shifted in his seat and leaned forward. ‘Okay, uhm, there comes a time in every child’s life when they start learning about, well . . . Iceman, I’ll let you take this one.’ ‘O-oh no! Keep me outta this!’ Iceman said, half-laughing. ‘Beast?’ ‘Well, Jubilee, Springtime is the time when all animals have their young. And to have their young they must procreate.’ ‘What now?’ ‘Procreate means to multiply,’ Storm explained. ‘They need to . . . be alone and . . . well . . . the birds and the bees come along . . . Professor’ I believe it’s your turn.’ Jubilee made a face and raised an eyebrow at Storm’s explanation. The Professor was already gone. He had already snuck out the back. It dawned on everybody why he had a hoverchair: to escape quietly in awkward situations. ‘Lucky bastard,’ Wolverine muttered, suddenly wishing he had a hoverchair, too, as was everyone in the room. ‘What’s that, Logan?’ Storm asked. ‘You would like to explain it’ Why, go ahead.’ Logan looked up and finally walked over to Jubilee. ‘Kid, Wolvie, JR. needs some regular access to some kitty-lovin’ real soon or he’s liable to kick all our heads off.’ Jubilee’s eyes widened. ‘Logan,’ Jean said, ‘that’s not the only way. We can neuter him as wel- ‘ ‘ - Not an option.’ ‘Let’s ask Jubilee what she thinks.’ Jean looked over at Jubilee. ‘Well, I ~would~ really like to see a lot of little Wolvie, JR.s running around . . . But then again . . . ‘ She looked down at her clawed up arms and bit her lip. ‘If they take after their father, then I think we should take him to the vet this weekend.’ ‘To the BlackBird!’ ‘Scott! She said this weekend!’ Scott sat back down and put the keys back in his pocket and sighed. As everyone left the room for their own parts of the mansion, everyone forgot about Wolvie, JR. , still dangling in the air. As Jean left the room, Wolvie dropped the floor and ran off and out an open window. Wolverine caught up with Jubilee. ‘Jubes, I want you to think long an’ hard about takin’ yer cat to th’ vet to get him . . . uhhh . . . ‘fixed’. ‘ ‘I am, Wolvie. But I think it might be the best thing for him. Did you know thousands of kitties are put to sleep because there aren’t enough homes for them?’ ‘But . . . Jubilee . . . just think about Wolvie’s dignity.’ ‘We have ‘til the weekend. I’ll give you my answer then.’ Jubilee walked up the stairs and went to her room. *** The days went by -- a little too slowly for Wolverine, who was very stressed over what Jubilee was going to do to the cat come Saturday -- and soon it was the weekend. ‘So, Jubilee?’ Scott asked. ‘Have you decided yet?’ Scott seemed a little too eager to put a stop to any Wolvie, JR. multiplying. ‘Yeah. Let’s do it.’ Jubilee frowned. ‘TO THE BLACKBIRD!’ ‘But . . . couldn’t we just ~drive~ there?’ ‘You wanna do things ~your~ way, or do you wanna do things ~right~?’ Scott asked, hurrying toward the SR-77. Jubilee tripped over Wolvie and fell flat on her face. ‘Awwww! It’s my wittle baby!’ she cooed and scooped him up. She kissed him on his nose. ‘ICCCCCCCCCE!!!!’ he hissed, slashing Jubilee across the cheek and nose. There was a small red pin-strip across her face. Iceman froze in place at hearing the drawn-out word ‘ice’. ‘No,’ he murmured. ‘Not again!’ Jubilee picked the cat back up and held him at arm’s length as she walked toward the BlackBird. *** There was a hiss of the engines (and of Wolvie) as the BlackBird landed on the pavement, taking out a few cars with it. ‘Oops,’ Scott said, crushing a blue-green Mazda. Jubilee carried a small cat carrier to the door of the building as the cat inside hissed and spat and tried to claw its way out of the box. It appeared to be trying to body slam the walls. ‘Jubilee, please, I’m beggin’ ya ta reconsider this,’ Wolverine pleaded. ‘I mean, think about it, it shouldn’t have to go through this. It just ain’t natural!’ ‘But it’s for his own good.’ ‘NO!’ ‘Wolvie, let go of the cage.’ Wolverine dropped it and Jubilee continued walking. Once inside, Scott spoke with the secretary about a certain ‘doctor visit’ for his cat that was scheduled to happen ‘for the love of God, as soon as possible’. Jubilee sat down next to a girl that seemed just a little bit older than her who had an open cardboard pet carrier and was talking to and petting the tabby inside of it. ‘Awww! It’s so cute!’ she cooed leaning over to look at the cat. The cat turned to look at her and yowled in a low voice. ‘GAAH! IT’S ONLY GOT ONE EYE!’ ‘Yeah,’ said the girl. ‘He got glaucoma last year and it had to be removed.’ ‘Glauca-what now?’ ‘His eye turned to liquid. He’s in pretty good shape. He’s 16 1/2 now. Older than me.’ ‘Okay, you got one freaky cat.’ The girl covered her cat’s ears. ‘Shhh! You’ll hurt his feelings! It’s okay, Reggie, I think you’re adorable.’ Jubilee scooted away from her and towards Wolverine. Wolverine reached over and opened the pet carrier. ‘Go! Be free! Run! . . . Goddammit, run! Ah, Christ.’ Wolverine tried to pull the cat out by his front legs but could only drag it a few inches. ‘Fine, ya dummass, see if I care!’ He turned away and crossed his arms. ‘I don’t think I’d care so much if it didn’t have ~my name~,’ Wolverine said to Jean. ‘Does anyone else think that this is amusing?’ Ororo asked with a smile. ‘Ro, you are a very sadistic person at times,’ Wolverine said. ‘I like that!’ ‘Wolvie is ready for his appointment now,’ a nurse said, walking into the room with a clipboard. ‘You’ll be able to pick him up tomorrow.’ ‘You mean . . . he’ll have to stay overnight?’ ‘Yes, but you can pick him up first thing tomorrow. We’ll take good care of him.’ ‘But,’ Cyclops asked hesitantly, ‘if we ~wanted~, you could keep him for, oh, I dunno, a week maybe’ A few months?’ ‘Uh,’ the nurse looked confused. ‘We would prefer if you picked him up immediately.’ Cyclops snapped his fingers. ‘Dammit,’ he whispered. ‘I can’t watch,’ Wolverine said before Wolvie, JR. was handed to the nurse. He sulked out of the room and headed for the bar next door. There was ~always~ a bar next door anywhere Wolverine went. The nurse held the pet carrier at arms length and walked away with it. Wolvie, JR. continued to body slam the walls. Jubilee watched him go, then turned around and followed the direction where Logan went. She passed by the crazy girl on her way out. The one eyed cat inside yowled at her and she jumped back. ‘Good kitty,’ the girl cooed, stroking his head. The cat purred. Once inside the BlackBird, she found Logan there. ‘I thought you went to get a beer,’ Jubilee said. ‘I did.’ ‘~That fast~’!’ ‘Yeah, why?’ Jubilee shrugged and sat down in one of the seats. She was followed by Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, Rogue, Gambit, Iceman, and Beast. The Professor wasn’t invited. ?’K, buckle up, everyone!’ Cyclops didn’t wait for their response and instead took off like a bat out of hell. Everyone was thrown back. It was almost as if he were trying to escape Wolvie in the vet’s office. *** Jubilee was the first one awake the next morning. First even, before Ororo. When the Weather Witch came down the stairs with Jean the next morning, after finishing watering her plants and taking her morning flight over the mansion grounds, they both found Jubilee sitting at the kitchen table, eyes overly wide, fingers jumping, right eye twitching, and clicking softly. The second things they noticed were the several, several, ~several~ coffee mugs surrounding Jubilee’s arms. And the third thing they noticed was the spotless kitchen. ‘Holy fuckin’ shit,’ Jean swore. Ororo turned to Jean. ‘What did you just - ‘ ‘Look at this place. I mean, ~shee-it~!’ ‘Jean, why are you . . . ah, screw it. Jubilee. The kitchen is clean,’ Ororo stated, as if Jubilee was unaware of it. Jubilee looked around. ‘Yes. I had a lot of - a lot of - a lot of - a lot of - ‘ Ororo slapped Jubilee in the side of the head. ‘I had a lot of c-c-c-offffee. Then I had - had - had a lot of en-en-en-en-en-en-en - ‘ Jean raised her hand, ready to fix whatever wire in Jubilee’s head had come out of place, but Jubilee managed to get it under control. ‘ - energy so I decided to clean the den, dining room, my room, and the kitchen.’ ‘You cleaned your room?’ Ororo asked, knowing full well that Jubilee’s room had been deemed a safety hazard by the government. ‘Yeah. Did you know I had a carpet?’ Jubilee asked, squinting her eyes. ‘Jubilee,’ Jean said slowly, correcting her, ‘You never ~had~ a carpet. We never put one in.’ ‘Yeah you did! It’s a green shag carpet!’ Ororo and Jean looked at each other worriedly. ‘Child, I don’t think that was a carpet . . . ‘ ‘What could it b-b-b-b-’ Jean kicked the stuttering Jubilee and she stopped babbling. The coffee was having a strange effect on her. ‘ - be?’ Ororo looked over at Jean again, then back at Jubilee. ‘Jubilee, how much junk food have you brought into your room during the course of your stay with us?’ ‘ . . . I dunno . . . a lot.’ ‘Jubilee, that’s not a rug . . . that’s mold.’ ‘EW!’ Jubilee shrank back from the table to coil into a cringe of disgust and wrinkling her nose. She stopped and darted her eyes back and forth and frowned, as if thinking heavily on something. ‘Well, that explains why it was ~moving~,’ she said finally. Then it was Ororo’s turn to cringe in disgust while Jean slapped her hand to her forehead. ‘So when do we pick up Wolvie?’ ‘About 2:00 this afternoon.’ ‘ . . . What?’ Jubilee said darkly, her blue eyes becoming cold with contempt. Ororo began to fear this more than the Pheonix with PMS when there was no chocolate in the house and the mansion had just run out of Advil. ‘Uh, that’s when he’ll be ready! They had to knock him out for his surgery!’ Jean tried to explain. ‘They had to WHAT’!’ Jubilee screamed. ‘You don’t want him to be alive when they . . . uh . . . cut off his . . . uh . . . Ro, help me out on this.’ Jubilee looked innocently back at Ororo. ‘His happy toys.’ ‘You mean his catnip?’ ‘No, his, uh . . . ‘ ‘His balls, darlin’,’ Wolverine said, cutting in on the awkward moment and reaching for a pot of coffee. He found it had been drained by Jubilee. ‘My, how very blunt of you, Logan,’ Ororo, said. ‘Yeah, well, I try.’ ‘I WANT MY KITTY!’ And so, hours passed as each X-Men in turn tried to explain that they couldn’t pick up the cat just yet. Except for Scott, who kept trying to tell Jubilee that they had euthanized the cat and it wasn’t ever coming back. Logan gladly back-handed him to make him stop. At three o’clock in the afternoon, Jubilee - coffee covering her face -, Scott - with a red hand-print and a bruise over his left eye - , Jean - forcing Scott into the BlackBird because he didn’t want to pick up the cat - , Bobby - both fingers caught in a paper fingertrap - , Beast - in a trenchcoat and a hat and looking like an oversized smurf flasher - , the Professor - not looking at all inconspicuous in a floaty gold-colored wheel-chair - , Ororo - smiling that her fingertrap trick had paid off, and Logan - very depressed that his namesake had lost his manhood - stepped inside the BlackBird and all took their seats. ‘Hurryhurryhurryhurryhurryhurryhurryhurry!’ Jubilee chanted, eyes dilating and shrinking because of the overdose of caffeine. ‘GottagetkittyGottagetkittyGottagetkittyGottagetkitty! Hurryhurryhurry HURRY!’ Logan raised his hand as if to back-hand her as well and she was silent. He chuckled something about being the ‘pimp-daddy’. The jet lurched and they were on their way, crushing once more the turqoise Jetta. ‘Great landing, Scott,’ Wolverine said sarcastically. ‘Shut it.’ ‘WolvieWolvieWolvie - ‘ Logan raised his hand again. ‘Eep.’ But as soon as the doors were opened, she took off running toward the veterinarian’s office. ‘WolvieWolvieWolvieWolvieWolvieWolvieWolvieWolvie!’ Everyone looked at each other, and then took off running. But poor Bobby stumbled and fell. Having both hands caught, it is very hard to maintain your balance. Those of you who have ever tried know. The fingertrap held fast and with a cry of surprise, Bobby was on his face. He needed his arms for support, he usually ran with his arms flailing out like a five-year-old’s. He was so embarrassed of his run so he always used an ice-slide. As Bobby lay on the ground, groaning in pain, Ororo stopped to point and laugh at him, then flew towards the rest of the group. Having no hands to lift himself back up, Bobby rolled over a few times, grabbed hold of a car door and lifted himself to his feet. The car’s alarm went off and he made an ice-slide the rest of the way to the doors. Jubilee was already at the desk. ‘KittyKittyKittyKitty!’ Jean wiped the coffee off her face and Jubilee continued. ‘KittyKittyKittyKitty!’ A very sober-looking woman opened the door and beckoned for everyone to follow her. She looked very grim and everyone suspected to worst. Scott and Logan high-fived each other. ‘Score!’ they both shouted. Jubilee, with wide eyes, trudged after her and Jean and Ororo followed her, telling the rest to stay in the main room. ‘There was . . . a complication,’ the vet said as tears welled in Jubilee’s eyes. ‘We knocked the cat out for the surgery, but . . . something happened. Please, come this way.’ ‘No . . . ‘Jubilee murmured as she stepped through the doors into an empty room. ‘Please. Sit down,’ said the doctor. ‘I need to talk to you.’ Jean sat next to Jubilee and Ororo put her arm around her. ‘Your cat,’ she looked at her clipboard, then back up at Jubilee, ‘Wolvie, Jr., was sent here to get neutered, right?’ Jubilee nodded. ‘Well, we made a slight discover. Don’t worry, your cat’s alright.’ ‘WOLVIE’S ALRIGHT’!’ Jubilee yelled joyfully, jumping from her seat. ‘Yes, please, calm down. There was still a complication, however. When we were about to do the surgery, we noticed something . . . odd. Your cat didn’t have any testicles. We assumed it had already been neutered, but we noticed something else.’ Jubilee was shocked. ‘Ms. Lee, Wolvie, Jr. is a girl.’ ‘He’s a what now?’ ‘Wolvie is a female cat.’ ‘Did you spay her?’ Ororo asked, still hopeful that they might stop its genes from being carried on. ‘Um, no,’ the vet said. ‘We wanted to discuss that with you. The thing is . . . ‘ *** Loud laughing came from down the hall and everyone looked at each other. ‘Is that ‘Ro?’ Scott asked. ‘I’ve never heard her laugh so hard.’ ‘It’s Jean and Jubilee, too,’ Wolverine said dimly. This meant the cat was still alive. The trio and the cat burst in through the door, each of them smiling happily and the cat looking very unpleased. ‘Guess what’!’ Jubilee said. ‘Wolvie’s a girl!’ Wolverine held up his hand. ‘Wait. Stop,’ he said. ‘I’m having a flashback.’ ‘WeaponX?’ Jubilee asked. ‘No. Kindergarten,’ Wolvie said, then smiled fondly. ‘My first berserker rage.’ He chuckled. ‘Ooookaaaay. Anyway,’ Jubilee said, ‘That’s not the best part!’ ‘It’s . . . not?’ Rogue gulped and tried not to look so pale. She knew something bad was about to happen. ‘Wolvie’s pregnant!’ ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!!’ came two very tormented screams as both Scott and Logan fell to their knees in sobs. Jean tightened her lips and patted them both on the back. *** Wolvie, Jr. gave birth to seven healthy gold and gray tabby kittens about two months later. A giddy Jubilee watched them as they crawled around blindly, watching them and smiling lovingly. ‘They’re lovely, Jubilee,’ Paige said. ‘Thanks, Hick.’ ‘Have you decided what to name them, Chica?’ ‘Hmmm . . . I think I know, but there’s not enough. If there were two more, I could have them all.’ ‘You’re making absolutely no sense, J,’ Synch said. ‘That’s okay,’ Jubilee said to herself. ‘I think I can still pull it off . . . ‘ And the days passed and turned into weeks. A month later, all the kittens could be distinguished from the others and Jubilee set about naming them, making sure everyone was present in Penny’s basement. ‘This one,’ she said, holding up an orange tabby, ‘is Husk the Second.’ Paige gasped. ‘No!’ ‘And this one,’ she held up a gray one with light blue eyes, ‘is Skin Two.’ Angelo looked very sick. ‘This one is Chamber, because it’s a gray tabby with black markings, like Jono’s hair. This one has green eyes and black markings, so it will be M. Hey! M&M! Heehee! That’s great! This reddish one will, of course, be Penance. And this orange tabby will be Synch! Now, I only have two more, so, Leech and Artie, you can pick which cat to be named after.’ Leech looked at Artie. Artie looked at Leech. They both looked worried. ‘Uhm, Jubilee’ Leech and Artie don’t ~want~ a kitten named after them . . . ‘ ‘No problem,’ Jubilee said. ‘That makes it easier now.’ She turned to Sean and Emma. ‘I thought you’d be jealous.’ Before Banshee could say anything, she’d already christened a golden tabby Banshee, Jr. The last kitten was lifted out of the box. It looked very much unlike the rest and was a ball of white fur with two blue eyes and a pink nose. ‘Oh, God, it’s all white,’ Emma Frost murmured with large eyes. ‘It’s albino. She can’t . . . She mustn’t!’ ‘White Queen!’ Emma let out a very uncharacteristic whimper as she took the albino kitten into her trembling hands. It bit her. ‘Ow! You little . . . ! Ohhh, I could never hurt you,’ she cooed. ‘You remind me of me when ~I~ was but a kitten. I mean a child!’ She quickly wiped that memory from everyone. Each GenX student walked away their own kitten, the girl’s falling instantly in love, but the guys not so sure. As Skin walked out of the room, Skin Two mewed softly. ‘Yeah, yeah,’ he muttered. ‘I love you, too.’
