Angelo Throws a Party (Or How One Of Washu's Love Potions comes Back To Haunt Sean and Emma)
written by Kairi 'Shadow-Sage' Taylor
Disclaimer: The characters within this psychosis-inducing fable are not
mine to begin with. They're the sole copyright of their respective
companies, with the exception of Kenneth Starr, who can't sue me for
what I’m about to do. So, enough with the formalities, let's go!
The elevator on the 4th floor slowly opened and Jubilee walked
out, whistling and swinging a keychain in her hands. Behind her followed
Angelo, carrying a cardboard box marked 'Kairi's Stuff'. Right behind
him was Ev, Gaia, Jono, Akane & Ranma, saying, "Hey, are you sure Kairi
wouldn't mind if we stay for a while?"
"Hey, don't worry about it," Jubilee said "He gave me a key and
as long as we don't turn the place into a warzone like we did at his
mom's house, he won't go insane on us." Ev laughed and said "Yeah, I
can't believe you'd try to make spaghetti with that stuff. Didn't you
know it was really an explosive potion?"
"It'd probably be a better idea to read the label next time,
chica." Angelo smirked as Jubilee unlocked the door to 4H and said "Hey,
the neighbors survived, right? No harm, no foul." As Jubilee opened the
door, Gaia whistled and said "Hmm, nice place. I guess all that writing
paid off, huh?" The others all walked in and took a good look around.
The place was not too large and in the center of the place stood a big
T.V. with stereo speakers. A video rack, which held various anime,
Sci-fi & Hong Kong action tapes stood nearby. The kitchen had a window
that connected it and the living room together. Next to the couch stood
a tape recorder with a note that said "FOR THE GANG". Jubilee pressed
the play button and immediately Kairi's voice was heard "So, I see
you've made it to my new home. Well, I know by now that Jubilee
suggested you stay there awhile so let's get down to it. Now, first
things first. Let's not have any make out sessions like back at my mom's
house. You know what I mean, Ev & Gaia!"
"Yikes!" Ev said as Angelo leered at the two making
smooching sounds. "Angelo, don't do that!" Kairi's voice said. "This
goes double for you. Ranma."
"Gee, he knows you as well as I do." Akane said. "Ranma
shrugged his shoulders and said "Yeah, but why would he assume I'd be
making out with anybody, especially such an uncute girl like you?"
"I assume now that Ranma just insulted Akane..."
WHAM! SMACK! BOOM!
"And she just replied in her usual fashion. Anyway, the
refrigerator has a lot of snacks. Just make sure you don't drink from
that silver canister. It's Washu's love whiskey potion. Believe me, you
really shouldn't touch it."
"Hey guys!" Jubilee asked. "Did anyone of ya find out what
exactly was the agreement between them?"
"It's nothing you need to know about, in case you're
wondering!" Kairi's voice replied. "Now, you can invite a few friends
over, but don't let them in my room! And don't touch my gold Legend of
Zelda cartridge or there's gonna be hell to pay. I won't be back until
later, so keep cool dudes."
:Wow, the blokes a bit obsessed with the game, isn’t he?
Jono mused.
"I AM NOT OBSESSED!" Kairi's voice boomed as Jubilee turned
the recorder off. "Well, what should we do first?" Ranma said as he
looked over the video collection "He did say there was a lot of snacks
in the fridge." Ev said as he opened the fridge and took out a carton of
ice cream. "Anything worth watching?" Ranma whipped out a tape and said
"Check it out, he's got the dubbed version of 'Hard Boiled'!" Jono and
Angelo jumped on the couch and as Angelo expanded his arms to turn the
T.V. on, Jono said :Well, let's pop it in and watch! Nothin' else is
on. Ranma quickly put in the tape and turned the VCR on. As he sat on
the couch, they were greeted by a cop saying 'Give him a gun and he
thinks he's Superman, give him two and he's a god!' Akane sighed and
said, "Where did Kairi go any way?"
"Marvel called him to discuss a new storyline. And something
about Diaz..."
Kairi sat in his chair outside the offices of Stan Lee,
patiently tapping on the wall. In the office along with him sat the
Silver Surfer & Dr. Doom, who was reading the latest issue of Marvel. "I
can't believe it." Surfer said. "They said it was a good idea, me with
my own series. I had the X-Men's old time slot, CG scenes, everything.
Then the ratings came in. I was gone faster than Larry Hama at a common
sense meeting! Then, my comic gets canned! Sheesh!!"
Dr. Doom nodded & said, "I know what you mean. I have not been
getting any work since that whole 'Heroes Return' job. I've been in this
business longer than I can remember and I've never seen anything like
it." Dr. Doom then noticed Kairi and said "Hey, aren't you one of those
guys who drove Hama mad? Heard you're under one of those curses."
"Yeah, I'm one of them." Kairi said. "Just what kind of curse
was it anyway?" Surfer asked. Kairi then took a glass of water from
nearby and poured it over his head, changing him into a giant fox. "Wow,
that must be tough to live with." Doom said. Kairi held a sign which
read 'You have no idea!'.
The door to Stan's office opened and Blink (yes, that's
right, I brought her here for a little cameo) walked out saying "Thanks
for the cola machine! Mondo really appreciates it!"
"Anytime, Blink, anytime." Stan said. "Come in Kairi. Oh, I
see you've been showing off again. I'll send for the hot water." As Stan
sat at his desk, Kairi sat in the chair, scratching himself as Stan said
"Ok, before we get down to business there's another matter to discuss
besides who put laxatives in Rubien Diaz' food."
'You're not talking about the Starr incident, are you?'
Kairi's sign read. "What are you..." Stan started to say. Then, out of
pure instinct, he turned his T.V. on as a news reporter said "FBI and
local officials still have no idea of how this bizarre event happened or
who to question." The focus shifted to an hat happened earlier that
day as Kenneth Starr addressed the House "And so," Starr said "It is my
opinion that Mr. Clinton's actions are completely unforgivable, highly
questionable and he should be removed fro-" At that moment. Juggernaut
fell through the roof of the building, landing on Starr. "Man," Juggie
said "I'll never call that girl uncute again!" The house was in an
uproar and people started to yell.
"Oh my god, he killed Kenneth!"
"You bastard!"
Stan turned to look at Kairi, who immediately started to
whistle. Which, for him, was impossible, seeing as how he couldn’t
whistle for all the money in the world.
"Yeah, three pizzas," Angelo said "With sausage and peppers."
As Angelo hung the phone up, Gaia said, "You think it's a good idea to
order that much pizza?" Angelo smiled and said, "Hey, you gotta have
pizza when you have a party, right." Akane looked from the kitchen and
said "Party? I don't think that'll be a good idea." Angelo nodded and
say, "Hey, we never formally celebrated when we got rid of Hama right?
It'll be cool and I'm certain that Kairi wouldn't mind. Besides I'd
rather risk heartburn than certain death from your cooking!"
As Angelo fell on the ground after being laid out by Akane,
Jubilee and Ev stood over him shaking their heads Jono replied. Gaia laughed and asked
"Just who did invite?" The ceiling suddenly had a hole added to it and
Shampoo leapt in with a huge basket saying "Nihao!" Jubilee groaned,
saying "Gaia, can you..." Gaia nodded and said, "Yeah, I got it." As the
hole was being attended to, Shampoo hugged Ranma, saying, "Shampoo so
happy! Ranma come to see Shampoo!" Ranma shook his head saying "It's a
coincidence!" The doorbell rung and Jono went to open it, being very
careful to duck the mallet that Akane tossed in Ranma's direction. He
was greeted by Mousse, Ukyo, Ayeka and Mihoshi. "I see that Shampoo has
made it in her usual fashion." Mousee observed as he pointed in the
direction of Ranma. "Did the others arrive yet?"
:Others? Jono inquired. "Oh, we called a few of our friends
over, if it's ok with you." Ayeka said.
"Make way! Is this celebration not complete without nobility
such as that of the great Tatewaki Kuno!?"
Tigrr sat at the keyboard, looking over the latest stuff
that's been sent her way. The newest story looked very promising and
fulfilling, but it was a bit short. As she started to look over the
discussion board, Kairi entered the room, bookbag over his arm, saying
"Well dude, I got the stuff!" Tigrr snapped her fingers and said "Cool,
you actually convinced them to sign it.?" Kairi nodded and said "Yeah, I
mean look at the support you gave 'em during the dark ages dude." Kairi
reached into his bag and handed over a copy of Gen X# 1, which the
whole team signed. "I'm beat though." Kairi sighed as he leaned on the
wall. "All this interdimensional trips are gonna wear me down sooner or
later!" Tigrr nodded and said "I know. You know what it's like having to
listen to Emplate complain about being turned to M-Plate? Hey, you do
realize he's gonna give you hell for not being in this story!"
"I know. But that's not the worst of it. Not only has Washu
not picked up that love potion for over a month now, but it's seems that
Yuffie's got the hot's for me!!" Tigrr raised an eyebrow. "Are you
sure?" The window opened and Yuffie leapt in, saying "Gotcha now,
loverboy!"
"You weren't kidding were you?"
"I wish."
By evening, Kairi's apartment was beginning to get filled
up. In addition to Cannonball, Logan, Anita (she's MisaoChen, check out
the story 'Anime fun With Hama), Rogue and Gambit, Ryoko, Tenchi, Yuffie
(who decided to wait at Kairi's) Sasami, Ryoga and Nabiki arrived as
well.
"Geez, never thought that so many people would arrive."
Jubilee said as Logan drank some beer and said. "Well just as long as
the place is still in one piece, darlin', then Kairi shouldn't be too
angry." A force bolt from Ryoko narrowly missed Rogue as Anita said "Hmm
,so much for that notion."
"Say, where Mousse go?" Shampoo asked as she and Ukyo
brought in a plateful of okonomiyaki (a style of Japanese pizza. there
goes another lesson in all things Japanese) "Beats me," said Anita.
"Last time I saw him, he was talking to Mihoshi.
"Somehow, I've got a bad idea about this," Ev said as Gaia
led him to one of the guest rooms. "Don't worry," Gaia said "No one's
gonna find out." She quickly pushed Ev into the darkness within and
closed the door behind them. As they moved toward the back of the room,
someone said "Hey, who stepped on my foot?"
The lights were turned on and Ev said "Huh? You two?!?!"
Apparently, they had stumbled into a making out session between Mihoshi
and Mousse. Both couples started to blush a lot as Mihosi asked "Er,
what are you guys, umm I mean...."
"Nothing!" Gaia quipped "Uh you guys...."
"Uh, I think it's fair to say," Mousse started "That none of
us will speak about this little event to anyone else, especially Shampoo
and Kairi."
"Agreed!" Ev nodded, thinking of what type of punishment
Kairi might deal out!
"HOLY FLYIMG CRAP BROTHERS!"
"Kairi?"
Sean & Emma stood by watching as Kairi was being gripped in
a loving embrace by Yuffie "So, you'd think you'd escape me so easily,
eh?" she said. "Yow, take it easy will ya?" Kairi said. "Now, before I
do anything else, Can someone please explain how such a interesting
little party came about?"
"Hmm, if I did not know any better, I'd say that one of my
students, namely Angelo, decided to hold this little affair." Emma said,
looking straight at him. "From my understanding, it's a party to
celebrate the departure of Hama." Nabiki said "That I can live with."
Kairi said, with Yuffie still at his waist "Relax, young thespian," Kuno
said "It is a time for merriment for the departure of an hated enemy..."
"Oh, sweet god, no..."
"He always got bad poetry..."
"Yes, lad, we get the picture" Sean said "Now I hope ye kids
had enough common sense tae keep the place in order." Kairi sniffed and
said "Ok, who left gumbo on top of my T.V.?"
"Sorry, mon ami." Gambit said.
"A hole in the wall...Ryoko..."
"Sheesh, is it my fault that Tenchi's someone worthy to fight
over..."
"Well, just as long as the place is still in tip top shape.
Well, I'll be in my room playing Zelda. Yuffie, you can let go of me
sometime before I go to sleep." As Kairi walked to his room, Jubilee
said "Uh oh."
"What do you mean by that, Jubilee?" Emma asked. "Angelo was
playing Zelda earlier," Sasami said. "And you know how much he loves
that one." Sean smiled as Ryo-oki leapt up on his shoulder, saying "Now
now lass, there's nothin' ta fear. The lad cannae be that obsessed with
that game."
"I do believe it's the gold cartridge that he has." Ranma
said.
"Oh crap."
Kairi emerged from his room, gold cartridge in hand Yuffie
still attached to him. "Uh, Yuffie..." Anita said.
"Don't say it, I know." she said as she ran to her. "Alright,
who did it!?!" Kairi exclaimed. "Who played Zelda and scratched the
cartridge." Angelo gulped and said "Hey, chill out amigo. I didn't play
it for that long."
"He played it for an hour." Tenchi said. "He also accidentally
erased all of the files." Ryoga added.
As Kairi slowly closed his eyes, he muttered "If I only had a
suitable weapon..."
"You may take mine if you wish, noble warrior," Kuno said
offering his bokken (wooden sword) "But keep in mind that there are
other ways of solving such disputes." At that, Kairi opened his eyes and
said "That will not be necessary, upperclassman Kuno. I'll be right
back." Kairi then blinked out as Shampoo said "You should leave while
still alive."
:You're in too deep, pal Jono said as he left the place. "I
imagine somehow that any punishment I have for you will be dwarfed by
his thirst for vengeance." Emma said. As Angelo gulped, he asked "Any
advice?"
"Yeah kid." Logan said "Start sayin' yer prayers."
"Yo, Amigo!"
Angelo turned to see Kairi dump a bucket of water over his
head. Everyone watched as Angelo shrunk and transformed into a raccoon.
"Jusenkyo." Ranma said, "Well why not."
"Remind me never to cross his path." Kuno said
Kairi yawned and woke up. It was 6 in the morning and he
noticed that Yuffie was laying right next to him on the couch. He also
saw that Jubilee, Ranma and Ukyo were watching him and giggling. "Well
don't you too make a cute couple." Ukyo quipped. "Yeah, yeah." Yuffie
yawned as she woke up. "Last time I'll ever stay up watching Hong Kong
action flicks!" Jubilee stretched her arms and said, "Hey, where'd Frosty
and Banshee go?"
"ARRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!"
Ranma said "Hey, that came from Kairi's room!" Quickly, they
all got up and went to Kairi's room. They opened the door to see both
Sean and Emma at opposite sides of the bed, covered in sheets, sans
clothing. "What the hell is this?" Jubilee said, "All I know is that I
woke next to Sean here," Emma said "And we are both very naked." Ksiri
shook his head and said "I knew I should have tracked Wahu down when I
had the chance!"
"Ah, you miss me!" They turned to see Washu standing behind
with a baby in her arms. "I take it that someone drank the love potion
by mistake." Sean nodded and said, "I knew that whiskey tasted odd."
Washu took out a small black device and looked at it carefully. "Emma,
take a look at this." she said, tossing the device to her. Emma
carefully looked at the device and blushed. "Um Sean..."
"What now?
"I am pregnant."
"Dude! You're gonna be a father." Kairi said. Ukyo looked at
the baby that Washu was holding. "Hey, who's the kid." she asked. "Oh,
this is my son, Hideo. Thanks to a new invention, I was able to so into
limbo and stay there long enough to give birth. Of course, it was tricky
getting the father's DNA..."
"Who's the dad?" Jubilee asked.
"Kairi."
"Wow, you're a dad!" Ranma said to Kairi, who fainted saying
"It figures!!"
