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MONET'S BREAKDOWN written by A.J. Mathews
Monet’s Breakdown
Remember, team, this is not a training mission!
You can be hurt here! Emma Frost had said. Let nothing
distract you. This child is counting on you.
Yeah, yeah, I’d thought. Go
in, get the kid, and get out. Why hadn’t I listened to her?
I shifted in my hospital bed, looking out of the
window through my IV bag. I saw my reflection, and made a face. Yeah, that’s
me. Monet St. Croix. Pretty and perfect. And friendless. That hurt, it really
did. I wish… ah, what good did wishing do. Nothing would change that fact. At
least the kid was ok. About the only thing that had worked out those strange
days.
***Then***
Generation X, get in the common room pronto! Emma
Frost said urgently.
“Uh oh,” said Paige Guthrie. She cast an
accusing look at Chamber, Skin, and Synch. What did ya’ll do now?”
I rolled my eyes. “Does it matter what they did?
Let’s just get this over with. I have an appointment at 2:00 sharp for my nails
to be done.”
Jubilee stuck her tongue out at me. “Is that
what you consider important? Maybe we finally have a new mission!”
“You are such a child.” I couldn’t stand the way
she acted like such a kid sometimes. “Grow up.”
“Whatever.” She stalked towards the common room,
Paige with her, and Chamber, Skin, and Synch trailing behind her.”
I just shook my head and followed. God, why does
Ms. Frosty-the-snow-bitch always call a meeting when I have something important
to do. When I got there, the others had already taken seats.
Now that Ms. St. Croix has graced us with her
presence, we can begin, said Emma Frost in an icy tone as she
glared at me.
I just glared back, as Sean Cassidy walked in.
“This is no time for ye to be arguin’. We have a
critical situation. Around 6 A.M. this morning, a 5-year-old child was abducted
from Xavier’s mansion. The wee lass was kidnapped before the Professor could
put up blocks in her mind to block her advanced powers.”
Most of the team gasped in horror. Emma Frost
looked impassive. However, most of the X-Men are busy right now helping
X-Factor rebuild their base after the Sentinels wiped it out. He has asked us
to rescue the child before something terrible happens to her.
Jubilee blurted out, “But who could do such a
thing?”
“Don’t be so naïve. A lot of people would kidnap
a child if they thought it was worth it,” I snapped back.
She looked at me. “And let me guess– you still
think your nail appointment is more important than saving a child, don’t you?”
I tilted my chin and said, “Of course.
Especially when we have no idea where the child could be right now.”
That’s enough. And for the record, Xavier did
manage to find the child’s location before she was knocked unconscious. Whoever
took her plans to exploit her mutant powers and did not want her hurt.
Emma sounded calm. So we’ll be leaving within fifteen minutes– go and
change into your costumes.
“But-” I protested, as we turned and headed to
our rooms to get our costumes on.
“Zip it, bleach-head,” said Jubilee. “We’ve got
a job to do. Unless blondes really are stupid– oops, sorry, Ms. Frost.”
“Good one, Jubes,” said Skin and high-fived her.
She ran off giggling.
“Can you act like an adult for even one minute?”
I retorted coldly as I entered my room and changed quickly.
I was pleased to see I was the first one ready
and on our small jet. Sean and Emma had changed into their costumes as well,
and were waiting for us in the pilot and co-pilot seats.
As the others trailed on, I saw Husk and Jubilee
laughing together about something on a piece of paper. When the guys started
laughing too, I narrowed my eyes.
“Ms. Frost, shouldn’t they hurry and get seated
so we can go rescue this child?” I asked sweetly.
“Hurry up!” Sean said urgently to the others. As
they got seated, the paper Jubilee was holding blew over and landed at my feet.
I looked at it and froze. It was a picture of me– wearing the White Queen’s
clothes, with a caption saying, “I am the new White Queen! I hereby order
everyone to get manicures!” I didn’t say a word. They didn’t understand me,
that was all. They were jealous because I was smart and pretty, and never–
well, hardly ever got in trouble, unlike Jubilee. Emma noticed it but didn’t
say anything.
The entire trip, I could hear them laughing. I
didn’t join in. It wasn’t because I wasn’t invited; it was because they were
laughing at juvenile things. Or so I’d thought. Now I see how I had isolated
myself from everyone.
As we landed on the outskirts, Emma gestured for
us to come closer. Remember, team, this is not a training mission! You can
be hurt here! Let nothing distract you. This child is counting on you.
“Be brave, lads and lasses. I know ye can do it.
Just make sure to call for help if ye need it,” Sean said worriedly. “Jubilee,
M, and Skin will go in first.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go in, get the kid, and get out.
Let’s go,” I muttered.
The team entered the base quietly, with Jubilee
using her mental abilities to sense for danger. It wasn’t fair. I worked so
hard to develop my minor telepathy, but it was so… weak. Suddenly, I heard the
sound of someone crying. It seemed to echo in my mind. I followed the sound, with
the others watching, until I came to a door. I pushed it open and even I gasped
in horror. Chained to the wall was a tiny girl with red hair, with a gag over
her mouth, and her eyes blindfolded. A Genosha collar hung around her neck, as
she lay limp with only the chains holding her up. I ran towards the child,
intending to free her.
“Wait!” cried Jubilee. I ignored her; couldn’t
she see this pathetic child that roused even my sympathies? I knelt beside the
child and removed the gag and blindfold. As I began to try to remove the
collar, the girl opened sparkling green eyes and looked like.
Look...out, she murmured
as I tried in vain to open the collar. I was concentrating so hard; I didn’t
hear someone approach me from behind.
“Shh, little one. Let me work. Now how does this
thing come off?”
But… the man… she whimpered.
He’s right…
“Behind you!” sang out another voice, as a hand
suddenly grabbed my throat and swung me into the air. I choked and tried to get
some air.
“What the hell did you do to her!” I yelled as
best as I could.
“Nothing… just insuring she wouldn’t make
trouble before I drain her.” The voice did not sound familiar to me at all.
“WHAT!” I shouted in horror. “How dare you do
something so…. monstrous!”
“That little brat has enough psychic energy to
last me for months!” As my teammates tried to get to the child, he stepped in
their way. “Either of you move, and this one dies.” He laughed and tightened
his grip on my throat. Damn! What was wrong with me today? Why didn’t I feel
more like fighting? Skin and Jubilee immediately froze. Perfect.
“Forget me, you idiots. Save the kid!” I angrily
yelled. They looked at each other. Damn it! Do it now! They were not as
stunned as I was when I lapsed into ‘pathing, feeling weaker and weaker because
I couldn’t breathe. I coughed again, harder this time. He laughed and threw me
into the wall. And then grabbed me again.
“M!!”
they cried as he began tearing at my clothes. “Let’s see if what looks so good
on top really is. As he began to tear my top, I sent a mental fist into his
mind. He punched me directly in the face. I guess Jubilee must’ve called or
something, because as everything was going black, I heard Sean’s banshee cry as
he blasted the door open. The last thing I saw was the child suddenly glowing, and
the collar… breaking…
****Present***
Well, that was not the worst part, I mused. The
child was strong indeed to have managed to break the collar by herself. Sean
said if the child hadn’t interfered, I would have been dead. Maybe it would
have been less… lonely to die.
***Past***
Darkness….
My head really hurt...and so did the rest of me.
I opened my eyes, blinking at the brightness. “Where the hell I am?”
Emma sat in a chair next to my bed… she must’ve
been there for a while because she was asleep. Sean was dozing as well, in
another chair. The child lay sleeping in the bed next to mine. I sat up slowly
and looked around. An IV was inserted in my right arm. “I am so out of here,” I
muttered, as I climbed out of bed and stood up. I walked over to the child, to
make sure she… She was alive, I saw. I felt relieved for some reason. As I
walked to the door, I heard a voice from behind me.
“And where do ye think ye are goin’, lass?”
Sean’s soft drawl asked as he stood up, walked in front of me, and blocked the
door.
“Anywhere I want to,” I snapped. “Now get out of
my way!” Sean shook his head.
“Ye canna leave yet, lass.”
GET OUT OF MY WAY! I
shouted. He flinched. Emma jumped up, and saw him and me by the door.
I suggest you get back in that bed before I move
you there kinetically, Emma said in her sternest voice.
“Emma, be careful. The lass packs a wallop with
her mental ‘voice’.” Sean massaged his temples. “Lass, ye’ve been unconscious
for over three days. Ye have to rest and wait until the doctor clears it. Ye nearly
died. If Katya hadn’t stopped him, ye would have.”
“Katya?” I was confused.
“The wee one.”
“Oh.”
I think we need to explain a few things to you,
Monet, before anything else. However, I am only going to say this one more
time– get back in bed! Emma repeated.
I reluctantly did, but only because I knew she
would have moved me herself if I hadn’t. “What is it?”
“First off, lass, ye have a concussion, which
means no ‘pathin’ for a while. It would put too much strain on ye. Second…”
Sean’s voice trailed off.
Second, do you realize that you tapped into
Katya’s mutant powers? A temporary link must have been created when you needed
help and she was ‘pathing to you. I’m not sure if it has affected her potential
in anyway, but your mental abilities have definitely improved. I’m not certain
if the effects will be permanent, either. Emma frowned.
“I never knew such a thing could be done– except
by Synch.” I was stunned. What the hell is going on, I wondered. “Hey, where’s
everyone else?”
They are at home, with Rouge and Joseph watching
over them. Emma sounded…. Neutral.
“We were worried about ye, lass,” Sean said.
“Oh… How long do I have to stay here?” I hated
hospitals.
“Until Dr. MacTaggert says ye can leave.” I
noticed that Sean kept his face blank, but I could feel a sadness coming from
him. The entire team knew that it was hard for him to come to Muir Island ever
since Moira MacTaggert had died from the Legacy Virus. Her son had taken over
once she became ill.
“Well, how is our patient doing?” said Dr.
MacTaggert, as he walked into the room. He walked over and peered down at me.
“Fine. When can I go home?” I was impatient to
get home. The others would probably tear my room apart while I was gone.
“Not so fast, young lady. You gave us quite a
scare. You’ll be in here for at least two weeks, if not more,” he said sternly.
I frowned.
“But I want to go home.” I frowned more when he
shook his head. I want to go home! I shouted mentally, and flinched.
“Ow! Damn, that hurt!”
Emma frowned at me, and I frowned right back. This
doctor wasn’t the boss of me! Not me, Monet St. Croix! Don’t make me put a
‘pathing restriction on you! she said. Meanwhile, Sean, I think we’d
better go tell the team she’ s alive.
He nodded. “I’ll be back to see ye in the
mornin’, lass.” He left and headed towards the hangar.
Doctor, if you have to restrain her to keep her
resting, do it. The same goes for sedation. Emma Frost gave
me a glare that said “you’d better behave or else”.
“Hey, it wasn’t my fault that Jubilee and Skin
were worthless as teammates to back me up! Why do I have to stay here!” I
snapped in anger. “They were just going to stand there and do nothing. And they
call me the new ‘White Queen’. They didn’t do anything at all to help!”
Emma frowned. That’s not very funny, Ms. St.
Croix.
“I wasn’t being funny, or didn’t you see the
paper they dropped when they got in the mini-jet. I saw you look at it.” I was
not going to stand for her denying that fact.
She nodded slowly. We will discuss this
later, Monet. After you are home.
“Can’t be soon enough,” I said, and leaned my
head back against the pillows. Emma left, and about five minutes later, I heard
the mini-jet take off. I sat up and headed towards the door. Dr. MacTaggert
looked at me and shook his head.
“You know the rules; you aren’t allowed to leave
yet.”
“I’m not going to sit around in this bed for two
weeks. Either find me something I can do, or send me home. I’d just love to see
you try to sedate me,” I smirked. A soft whimper caught my attention.
“Mmmmmm… where am I?” a soft, sweet voice with
an Irish lilt murmured. I whirled around to look at the child. She was sitting
up in bed, gazing around with her bright emerald eyes showing confusion. Her
red hair stuck up, and I was hard pressed not to smile.
“You’re at Muir Island, child,” I said
neutrally. Dr. MacTaggert looked surprised.
“I gave you enough anesthesia to keep you asleep
for days. Now how’d you wake up so fast?” he mused as he walked over to her.
“How’s your side feel? Do your stitches hurt?”
“No, I’m fine. But where are my friends?” she
looked… hurt, as if she couldn’t believe they weren’t there.
I spoke up quietly, ”The X-Men are currently
investigating rumors of a hidden base somewhere in Alaska.” I walked back to my
bed and sat down.
“Oh. Thank you for trying to save me from the
bad man.” I looked at her, surprised.
“I should be thanking you; you saved my life.”
“But you would never have been in danger if it
wasn’t for me,” she said earnestly. “Anyway, the Professor knows I have to
return home very soon.”
“I didn’t have surgery, but I’m stuck here for
two weeks. You did, and you get to go home today? That doesn’t seem fair,
somehow,” I protested.
“My home is…somewhat different from yours. But
we’ll meet again; I have foreseen it. Of course, you might not remember me
then, and I might not remember you. The future is not set,” she stated. I
looked at her in awe. She seemed so… calm and wise, despite what she’d gone
through.
“What do you mean, your home is somewhat
different? You live with the X-Men, don’t you?” I asked curiously.
“Yes… and no. Only part of the time.” She looked
over at me. “I didn’t mean to overload you like that in the fight. I just
wanted to help you.”
“What?” I was shocked. “You… were able to give
me part of your abilities? But why?” I couldn’t conceive of such a thought. My
own teammates would not have done as much for me, I knew.
“I was afraid… that he was going to kill you.
Because of me. I didn’t want you to die,” she clearly stated. A bright light
began shining around her, as she nodded. “I have to go home. I can’t stay here
any longer. The time stream is changing. I promise, I’ll see you again, ok?”
The light enveloped her, and she began fading from sight. As she disappeared, I
thought I heard her say, “Don’t cry, Monet. You are not as alone as you think
you are. You are more loved than you know.”
“Wait!” I cried, not understanding. “Who are
you, really?” A child… so wise, so young. “I don’t understand. What did she
mean? Where did she go? Tell me!” I demanded of the doctor.
Dr. MacTaggert looked at me. “I’m sorry, I
can’t. Doctor/patient confidentiality.”
“I don’t give a damn about that. Where did she
go?” I cried.
“She went home,” he said. “I suggest you get
some rest, Monet. You’re still weak from the fight.”
I nodded slowly. “When are my teammates coming
to visit me?” I asked, wanting to look my best.
The doctor looked at me…with pity in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, but Ms. Frost and Mr. Cassidy haven’t discussed visiting hours with
me.” He left without a word, and never looked back. The next day, I had a new
doctor; Hank McCoy.
Fine, I thought. If
they don’t want to visit me, then I don’t want them to.
***Present***
I haven’t seen the child since, and no one will
talk to me about her. They think I just made her up, that I fabricated the
whole story to get attention. I don’t care. I know what I saw. I’m going home
today. Ms. Frost and Sean are taking me home on the mini-jet, by myself. Part
of me still wonders where Katya went. My teammates never came to see me once.
Sean- Mr. Cassidy, that is, came fairly often to see me, usually dragging Ms.
Frost with him. At least Synch wrote me a letter. He’s the only one who cared.
Again, I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me anymore; it just proves that I was
right. Nothing really matters to me anymore. If Jubilee had gone to the
hospital for a few days, I would have visited her. If only to be polite. The
same went for the rest of them. Oh well, like I care what they think or do
anyway. I don’t plan on sticking around for long. What do I have to live for,
anyway? My father doesn’t understand me; my brother is a murderer, and my only
sisters are supposedly dead. My team couldn’t care less about me.
“Are ye ready, lass?” asked Mr. Cassidy, as he
entered the room.
I nodded slowly, as I stood up. I asked quietly,
“How much longer will I have this?” I gestured to the IV.
“Until ye start eating, lass,” said Sean
sternly.
“I don’t feel like it.” I walked to the door,
dragging my IV with me. I saw Ms. Frost looking at me worriedly, could feel her
worry over my being so submissive all of a sudden. I shook it off, and walked
out the door. As I headed down the hallway, I could feel eyes on me, staring at
the scar across the right side of my face. I never said a word to them, as I
continued walking until I reached the hangar. As I boarded and sat down at the
nearest window seat, and buckled up. As I hung my IV on a metal pole attached
to the floor of the plane, I could hear Emma and Sean talking with Beast, and I
listened in telepathically.
“I’m worried about the lass, Emma. I’ve never seen
her like this. She acts like she’s not even alive. Not eatin’ or sleepin’ at
all. Ye know I’m right.”
I know, Sean. But there isn’t much we can do about it. Maybe I should have confronted the others about the ‘White Queen’ joke they passed around about her. Beast, I mean, Dr. McCoy, we will let you know if anything changes.
“All right, Emma. Let me know if she gets worse,
though.”
I will. Let’s go, Sean.
I gazed out the window, and saw the sun was
slowly rising, as Emma and Sean boarded. The mini-jet took off, and I didn’t
even notice until we landed. I unbuckled my seatbelt and slowly walked off the
plane, my IV trailing behind me. The other Generation X members stood there
silently, except for Jubilee and Skin, who were joking about something nearby. They
all turned toward me, as I shuffled towards them, deliberately keeping the
right side of my face hidden from them.
“Welcome back, Monet,” said Everett.
“Thanks,” I murmured quietly. I would have
looked at him, but I didn’t want the others to see the mark. As I continued
walking, my telepathy kicked in, and I ‘listened’ to Jubilee and Angelo’s
conversation.
“See? She doesn’t have a mark on her. So why did
Ms. Frost say to be prepared for a change?”
“I don’t know, Jubes. I don’t think I’ve ever
seen her this quiet.”
I stopped and peeked at them out of the corner
of my eye.
They stopped talking and looked over at me.
“Gonna tell me to grow up again, ‘White Queen’?” Jubilee taunted. I turned and
faced her, where the scar fully showed. They gasped. A hand full of fingernails
had carved the scar, in a slant across my right eye. “Monet, I didn’t mean…”
Jubilee began.
I just turned away and continued walking. I
didn’t even stop when I heard Everett yelling at Jubilee and Angelo. Paige
yelled back at Everett, who then yelled at her. I just entered the Academy and
went straight to my room. With my newly grown ‘pathing ability, I could hear
Ms. Frost yelling at all the students to stop yelling at each other, and then
to tell her why they were yelling. When she found out why, she started yelling
at Jubilee too.
I didn’t understand why she yelled at Jubilee.
It didn’t mean anything to me… anything at all.
Ms. Lee! I told you to behave yourself and this is what you do? Monet has been through a severe trauma and the first thing you do when she gets back is taunt her by calling her ‘White Queen’? If I ever catch you calling her that again, you will be in deep trouble. Now march yourself upstairs and apologize right now.
“But… I didn’t know. I was just joking. I
thought she knew that,” Jubilee protested.
Sure, after the drawing that was passed around
showing her as the White Queen?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset her,” said
Jubilee quietly. “I’ll apologize. Where’d she go, anyway?”
While they were busy fighting, I had entered the
Danger Room, with the safety protocols off. Better to make it look like an
accident. As I began the highest-level sequence and the enemy appeared, I just
stood there, without powering up. And let them attack me.
Emma frowned and tried to find me. I blocked her
out, while still just standing there.
Jubilee gasped in horror. “I think she intends
suicide. Don’t you see, you guys?” They all looked at her. “None of us went to
visit her, because we didn’t think she was badly hurt. But she probably thought
we didn’t care. We’ve got to stop her!” Jubilee took off running towards the
open Academy doors, and ran upstairs calling my name. She heard the Computer’s
Voice saying, “Warning! Safety protocols are off-line. Warning! Safety
protocols are off-line.”
She blasted the door open, which stopped the
program by default. I looked towards the door, in a daze.
“What are you doing!” she yelled.
“What does it look like,” I said.
“Why?” she snapped. Oh please, like she couldn’t
figure it out.
“None of you want me here, except for Everett.”
“That’s not true!”
“Yes it is. All of you make fun of me.”
“It was just a joke.”
“How’d you like me to make a joke like that
about you?” I snapped.
“It.. it would hurt my feelings,” she whispered.
“We didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“Meant or not, you did.”
“I’m sorry… very sorry.” She truly looked it. I
felt myself soften in spite of myself.
“Part of it is my fault.”
She looked at me funny. “Part of what?”
“That we don’t get along- you know, the whole
Penance thing, Everett, and… the fact that sometimes I envy you. You aren’t
afraid to say what you think. I’m afraid people won’t like me, because of
Emplate.”
“No one blames you because of what he does… or
for being with Everett.”
I froze. “Are you for real?”
She nodded.
I felt free, suddenly, for the first time in my
life. Now, I finally understood what Katya meant.
Jubilee looked surprised to see the look on my
face. “Why are you so happy?”
“I think I finally understand what Katya meant.
‘You are more loved than you know’ she said to me in the hospital before she…
left.”
She smiled. “C’mon, let’s go have a party,
friend.”
I smiled hesitantly, and then nodded. “Ok, my
friend.” I knew suddenly that I would never be alone again, and remembered
Katya’s words once more: ‘You are not as alone as you think you are.’
And I hoped I’d see her again someday.
